In a Heartbeat
by 2good2betrue
Summary: Life can change in the blink of an eye. Past mistakes are brought to the surface, an important secret is revealed, Ross and Rachel's friendship is put to the ultimate test, all because of an accident. - A "what if" during The One With Chandler's Dad. Please R&R.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Alright, I'm done exams. I am now officially finished grade 11, A-Woo-Hoo! **

**And what am I going to do now? Celebrate? Party in the summer heat? No. I'd rather sit alone in my bedroom and write a new story about Ross and Rachel. I guess I'm just not really in an upbeat mood, which kind of pays off for this story.**

**The only way I can explain the background for this story is that it will be a "what if" during TOW Chandler's Dad. But that's all I'm going to say, other than that small summary. I guess you'll just have to read on. ;)**

**Please enjoy and, of course, tell me what you think with a review. **

**Disclaimer: The characters and the lines from Friends do not belong to me.**

* * *

Rachel happily drove Monica's Porsche. She felt relaxed and carefree with the wind in her hair. The sheer power of the car sent a refreshing sensation coursing through her body.

"God. I forgot how much I love driving. I have _got_ to get my license renewed," Rachel commented as she propped her head in her hand. Ross whipped his head around to face her, a disbelieving look on his face.

"You don't have a valid driver's license? Okay that is it! Pull over right now!" Ross said, his voice was filled with rage and panic. He now felt even more terrified of Rachel being in the driver's seat.

"Oh Ross you're so tense. You just gotta relax okay? Just need to relax all right? Just need to relax…" Rachel said. Messing with Ross for being so uptight, she took her hands off the steering wheel and closed her eyes.

"Rachel!" Ross shouted in pure horror.

It all happened in a split second.

In a heartbeat.

Before Rachel or Ross could grab the steering wheel, the car hit a bump in the road and violently swerved to the right.

The Porsche smashed into the guardrail on the side of the road. Everything became a blur as the impact caused the car to roll over sideways.

Crashing. Crunching. Shattering.

Dust. Dirt. Gravel.

Scraping metal. Squealing tires. Breaking glass.

The car flipped as if it were a leaf caught in the wind.

And then, everything came to a stop; the car upright on its tires once more.

Ross opened his eyes, which had been closed tightly. He hoped it was all a terrible nightmare that he could wake up from.

He felt numb. His vision was blurry, everything was very dimly lit by the streetlights; it easily could have been a dream.

But it was reality.

He suddenly gasped for air, realizing he had been holding his breath for the entire time. His heart was pounding fast, his body was shaking violently. What he only hoped was a bead of sweat rolled down the side of his face. But, when he wiped it with his trembling hand, he discovered it was blood.

The air was filled with an eerie stillness. The only noises that reached his ears were the cars speeding by on the highway and his own laboured breathing.

His vision began blurring around the edges. His pulse throbbed hard enough for him to feel it in his ears. But he gradually took in the sight in front of him.

The airbag was deflated, sitting in his lap. His seatbelt was still on. When he carefully turned to his left he could just make out Rachel's figure slouched lifelessly against the steering wheel.

"Rach," Ross called. His voice didn't sound like his own. It was weak but frantic. With difficulty, he reached out his arm to touch Rachel's shoulder. He shook her gently, but she did not respond.

Ross feverishly willed his shaky arms unclip his seatbelt, freeing his body.

The more he moved, the more he noticed just how much he was injured. His head throbbed with unbearable pain, making him feel like he was still spinning. But he continued to push himself to make sure Rachel was alright.

Ross wearily pulled on the door handle, but the door didn't move. He hurled his shoulder against it, forcing it to open.

He swung his legs out of the car to stand up; however, he discovered an excruciating pain in his right ankle. Ross shouted in agony. It had to be broken.

But that still didn't stop him. He stood on his good leg and used the car to help him stand up. He then utilized the car as support, in order to limp to the driver's side.

Anyone watching would have thought he was crazy. He could have waited for help to arrive. But Ross had only one goal in his mind, and that was getting to Rachel.

The Porsche was mangled. Its front end was smashed in; its sides were crumpled like an empty pop can. There were shards of glass all over the ground and pieces of metal everywhere.

Ross' head was spinning fast; he was close to losing consciousness as he finally reached Rachel's car door. He didn't waste any time wrenching the door open.

"Rachel?" Ross whispered, completely out of breath and panting. She did not answer. Ross gently shifted her so she sat back against her seat, in order to undo her seatbelt. Then, he half lifted her, half dragged her from the car.

Ross sank to sit on the road; Rachel lay lifelessly in his arms, across his lap. Tears streamed down his cheeks, as he blocked out the rest of the world. Nothing else mattered; he just wanted Rachel to be okay. He wanted to see her eyes, hear her voice.

Ross wasn't aware of the help that had arrived. He didn't notice the flashing lights and screaming sirens of the fire trucks, ambulances and police cars.

He was beginning to feel disoriented. The ringing in his ears was getting more intense. His blurry vision had changed to black spots.

A couple of paramedics approached, getting down to his level, telling him something. But it was as if Ross was underwater, he couldn't understand what he was hearing as mumbled voices. They quickly took Rachel from Ross' frail arms.

Ross tried to fight back, or ask where they were taking her, or tell them he wanted to stay with her. But, his mouth wouldn't form the words. The ringing in his ears and the spinning were quickly overwhelming his senses. The black of unconsciousness filled his vision.

Ross had been strong, but he was not strong enough to overcome the merciless darkness.

…..

Monica went over her mental checklist of things she and Chandler needed for their trip. She was glad Chandler had agreed to go to Las Vegas to visit his dad. She knew Chandler would regret it, in the future, if his dad wasn't there to be involved their wedding. She only hoped everything would turn out right, and Chandler's dad would agree to come to their wedding.

Monica grabbed their passports, putting them in her carry-on bag, before entering the living room.

Chandler relaxed on the couch, the TV remote in his hand as he lazily flipped through the channels. When Monica entered the room he left it on the news.

"We're all packed," Monica stated, placing her small bag beside their other luggage. "Just let me call Ross. Maybe he can swing by and drive us to the airport in the Porsche."

"Alright," Chandler responded. He tried to distract himself with the TV as he waited, his nerves were becoming unbearable. With each passing second he became a step closer to seeing his father again, and he was feeling uneasy about the idea.

Monica exited to her bedroom. She called Ross at home, but after a few rings she was greeted by his answering machine. She figured he was still driving her Porsche around, so she tried his cell phone. Strangely, he did not answer. Monica tried again, to no avail.

Monica had an odd feeling in her chest. Strangely, she had a hunch that something was wrong. Ross always answered his phone.

She subconsciously called Rachel next, hoping she would know where Ross was. But, to Monica's disappointment, she was met with no answer from Rachel either.

She called Phoebe, who did pick up her phone. Phoebe was at the coffeehouse with Joey. She explained that she and Joey hadn't seen Ross or Rachel since that morning, when Ross borrowed the Porsche.

Meanwhile, Chandler was still sitting in the living room. He stared into space, not paying attention to the TV, thinking about the upcoming trip. However, he was quickly distracted from his worries by a breaking news segment that caught his eye.

"…traffic is slow due to a car accident blocking the right lane. Emergency vehicles are on the scene, and they will have it cleared shortly…"

Chandler watched with interest as the news reporter talked. But, his attention quickly shifted to Monica as she entered to room once again, looking completely flustered.

"Did you get a hold of him?" Chandler asked. Monica shook her head.

"There was no answer from him or Rachel. And neither Phoebe nor Joey know where he is," Monica stated. She tried not to let the panic, she was suppressing, enter her voice.

"Well, we should leave soon. This traffic will make it easier to get to the airport," Chandler commented sarcastically.

Monica shifted her gaze to the TV screen. She and Chandler watched as footage was shown of the aftermath of a big accident. The highway was packed with traffic, emergency vehicles surrounded the scene. The image on the screen showed the wrecked car being hauled away on a tow truck.

"…the driver lost control of the vehicle, hitting the guardrail, sending the car rolling. Witnesses of the accident were quick to call emergency services. Both the driver and the passenger were taken to hospital, both with injuries. Their conditions are still being determined at this point in time…"

The reporter continued to talk, but Monica was unable to make sense of her words any longer. She stared at the screen with suspicion. She couldn't get the strange feeling to leave her chest. In fact that strange feeling grew as she looked at the car on the screen.

It was a grey Porsche, the same as hers, and there had been two people inside of it.

Monica shook her head to try and clear it, deciding that she wasn't thinking straight. Her mind was playing tricks on her because she was concerned about Ross and Rachel not picking up their phones.

They were fine. Weren't they?

They had to be.

Yet, Monica couldn't shake the ominous feeling looming over her head. What if that was the reason Ross and Rachel weren't picking up?

Just then, the phone began to ring. Monica automatically answered it, although she was in a zombie-like state.

"Hello?" Monica answered hoarsely. Her heart was pounding with anticipation as she hoped to hear her brother or Rachel on the other end of the call.

"Hello. Is this Monica Geller?" A woman's voice asked. Her tone was very severe.

"Yes, I-I'm Monica," Monica stuttered. There were knots in her stomach and a lump in her throat. She had a very bad feeling about this.

"I'm calling from Beth Israel Medical Center. I'm sorry to inform you that your brother, Ross Geller, and your friend, Rachel Green, were involved in a car accident this evening. You were listed as both their emergency contacts," The woman explained.

The phone trembled in Monica's hand.

She was right about the accident.

"I'll be there as soon as I can," Monica stated, before hitting the button to end the call. She didn't want to waste any time. She fumbled with the phone as she put it back in its stand.

Chandler glanced back at her with an amused look on his face. But his smile slowly faded when he saw the glassed-over stare Monica was giving him. Her eyes were full of tears. Chandler could sense she had just received bad news, it was obvious.

"What's wrong?" Chandler asked, extremely concerned.

"It's R-Ross and Rachel," Monica whispered, her lip trembling. Her body felt numb.

Chandler stood up from the couch, after turning off the TV. He then walked over to Monica to pull her into a hug. Monica held onto him tightly as sobs shook her body. Her tears fell onto his shirt, as Chandler stroked her back soothingly.

"Everything's going to be okay," Chandler whispered. He didn't know for certain what was going on, or if they really would be okay, but he still reassured her.

"They got in a car accident. We have to go to the hospital," Monica sobbed.

"Shhh, it's okay. We'll go right now. I'll call Joey and Phoebe on the way," Chandler stated. He gave Monica a kiss on the head before pulled her against his side, so he could lead her out the apartment door.

The weather seemed to match the mood the evening had taken on. It was raining, it was cold, and it was very depressing.

Monica and Chandler shortly got into a cab, Chandler immediately instructed the driver to bring them to the hospital.

Monica leaned against Chandler's shoulder as he phoned Joey and Phoebe. He spoke softly as he told them both the serious news. Monica couldn't stop the tears that rolled down her cheeks as she listened to the conversations. It was quiet enough for her to overhear Joey's utter shock, and Phoebe's tearful reaction.

The rain kept falling, running down the cab's windows. The ride felt like it stretched on for days, instead of minutes. The tension in the air made the backseat of the cab feel claustrophobic.

The four friends hoped with all their heart that Ross and Rachel would be alright.

…..

The bright, white light from the florescent bulbs was blinding. Rachel had to blink tears from her eyes in order to see clearly.

She was shocked to find an oxygen line across her face, an IV in her arm, along with many other wires. Her breathing was shallow and rough as she rapidly looked around. The machine beside her began beeping faster as her heart rate sped up.

She struggled to sit up, but winced as the room began to spin. Rachel was quickly stopped by a nurse's soft hands on her shoulders.

"Just lay down, sweetheart. You're okay," The lady said kindly. She had greying hair which was swept up in a loose bun. The soft lines on her face made her look gentle and wise. "Do you know where you are?"

Rachel listened to the nurse, relaxing against her pillow. She swallowed painfully; her throat was very dry.

"In the hospital," Rachel answered, her voice was barely audible. The nurse soothingly rubbed her shoulder.

"Yes, that's right. You were in a very bad car accident. You hit your head pretty hard and were out cold for a couple of hours," The nurse explained.

Everything came rushing back to her, in disturbing and chilling flashbacks. She remembered the car swerve; she remembered it hitting the guardrail. She winced as she remembered the car flipping over, but that's where the darkness had swallowed her.

Rachel wearily reached up to feel her head. There were a few strips of gauze wrapped around it. It hurt to touch.

"Your doctor will come and talk to you shortly," The nurse stated. She checked Rachel's IV fluids before leaving the room.

Rachel sat alone, her head pounding with the worst headache imaginable, her body ached from head to toe. But, her aloneness was short-lived as a man entered, wearing a white lab coat. He was medium height with sandy-brown hair; he had a serious look on his face.

"Hello, Rachel. I'm Doctor Arnold," The man greeted. He glanced down at the clipboard he held. "We're going to have to keep you here for a few days. You've sustained a severe concussion. I had them call your emergency contact, she'll be here shortly. Until then, let us know if you need some pain medication and just get some rest," Doctor Arnold finished. "I'll be back later."

As her doctor began to leave, a thought crossed Rachel's mind.

"Wait, Doctor Arnold," Rachel spoke, her voice rough.

"Yes?" he questioned, spinning around to face her bed. Tears began to stream down Rachel's face as she spoke.

"I-Is Ross okay?"


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Thank you very much for the reviews everyone. I hope you'll like this chapter enough to review again. :)**

**Just to let you know, I'll be at my cottage for the next week or so. I won't be updating until I get back home. Don't think I've forgotten about this story; I promise I'll post the next chapter asap. **

**In case anyone noticed, I deleted my one-shot **_**Decisions**_**. It was an outlet for my emotions, at one point, but now I've come to new realizations. I felt like the story's symbolism contradicted my recent decisions.**

**I'm sorry about these long ANs; please just enjoy the chapter.**

**Disclaimer: The characters from Friends do not belong to me.**

* * *

Monica and Chandler were practically running through the doors of the hospital. They were breathless by the time they reached the receptionist in the Emergency Room.

"Can I help you?" The woman asked from behind the counter. Her eyebrows furrowed in uncertainty as she tried to understand Monica and Chandler's frazzled appearances.

"Can you tell us where we can find Rachel Green and-," Chandler was interrupted by the receptionist.

"Rachel Green and Ross Geller? From that car accident?" The receptionist asked.

"Yes," Chandler answered with confusion.

"Their doctor is right here, actually. It'd probably be good to talk to him," The receptionist said. Monica and Chandler nodded. Their hearts were beating fast as they only became more panicked the longer they stood there. "Doctor Arnold?" The receptionist called.

A man wearing a white lab coat looked up from his work further down the counter. When he caught sight of Monica and Chandler he approached them.

"These two are here to see Rachel Green and Ross Geller," The receptionist explained, as the doctor came within hearing range.

"Hello, I'm Doctor Arnold. I'm looking after the Emergency Room tonight-," The doctor began, but he was abruptly cut off.

"What happened to Ross and Rachel?" Monica blurted out. She couldn't take it any longer; she needed to know if they were okay. She needed to know if she had said her last words to them that morning.

"Well, Rachel suffered a very bad concussion, after hitting her head. She was unconscious for a while, but she was awake when I last saw her. We'll have to keep her here for a few days to make sure she's okay. She seems fine; all I can see is the cut on her scalp. But we need to keep an eye on her since a concussion this bad can often cause seizures or other brain injuries. I'll be sending her for a CT scan so I can get a better look," Doctor Arnold explained.

"A-And Ross?" Monica asked. Even though she was relieved Rachel was alright, she was trembling uncontrollably as she thought about her brother. Chandler kept his arm around Monica, rubbing her shoulder comfortingly.

"Ross obtained a concussion as well, which was less severe than Rachel's. However, he had to go through surgery to fix his right leg. Both his tibia and fibula were fractured and one of the bones actually came through the skin. We had to put a few screws in to hold his bones back in place. That combined with one or two broken ribs and the concussion mean that we'll need to keep him at least a few days, as well. Especially because he runs the risk of contracting a deep-bone infection," Doctor Arnold explained.

Monica and Chandler breathed sighs of relief. Ross and Rachel were in decent health.

"Can we see them?" Chandler asked as if he were reading Monica's mind.

"Ross just came out of surgery, but if you visit Rachel first it'll give him time to wake up," Doctor Arnold explained.

"Thank you doctor," Chandler said sincerely, as he shook the man's hand.

"They are very lucky to have only sustained those injuries. It could have been a lot worse," Doctor Arnold said, seriously.

Monica and Chandler nodded as they realized their injuries could have been much more life-threatening. What's a couple of concussions and broken bones when the worst alternative was losing their friends?

…..

Phoebe and Joey arrived, a short time after Monica and Chandler. The four friends followed the doctor's advice and visited Rachel first.

Rachel opened her eyes to see her friends in the room. Monica sat on the edge of her bed, beside her, holding her hand. Phoebe stood beside Monica. Joey and Chandler stood at the foot of her bed.

It was surreal to see them all there around her hospital bed. It brought tears to her eyes to consider what they must have endured; how hard it would have been to hear what had happened to her and Ross.

"Rach," Monica said, as she noticed Rachel open her eyes. "We were so worried," Monica stated, hoarsely. It was all she could say before her emotions overwhelmed her.

"I can't believe I did this," Rachel whispered after a brief moment. She stared out the window, away from her friends.

"What do you mean, Rach?" Joey asked, speaking on everyone's behalf.

"It was my fault. I-I took my h-hands off the wheel…" Rachel explained, but soon guilt took over and she broke down in tears.

The four friends looked at each other, not knowing how to react. Monica rubbed Rachel's arm gently, trying to soothe her as best she could.

"It's okay. You and Ross are okay," Monica whispered gently. All the friends wore varying expressions of sorrow and pain.

Joey looked at the ground, unable to watch Rachel cry without feeling tears come to his own eyes. Chandler and Phoebe both watched in anguish as Monica tried to calm Rachel.

"I-I could have killed us," Rachel admitted. That exact thought had been repeating in her mind all evening.

It suddenly became apparent that everyone had been so focused on getting to the hospital, to see if their friends were alright, they didn't consider the aftermath of such an event. A silence filled the room as everyone began reflecting.

What would happen because of this?

…..

Ross lay on his back, watching the nurses and doctors pass by the open door to his room. It felt strange to feel so alone, while he knew he was surrounded by people. Patients, nurses, doctors, families. They all had a task to fulfill, while Ross was told he needed to stay there and rest.

Ross lazily watched the pain medication drip through his IV when a movement in the hallway caught his eye. He glanced at the door to see his friends and sister hesitating in the doorway.

"Are you okay, man?" Joey asked carefully.

"You know you guys can come in," Ross responded, his voice made his comment sound more bitter than he intended.

The four friends entered the room, dispersing themselves around the bed.

"We just saw Rachel, she's taking it hard," Monica explained. Ross shifted his gaze so he didn't meet Monica's eyes.

"She took her hands off the wheel, she was goofing around," Ross said sternly. He not only spoke to his friends, but he also tried to convince himself to stay angry. His head was filled with conflicting feelings: he wanted to be mad, he really did, but it was so difficult when it came to Rachel.

"Ross, it was an accident-," Monica began but she was quickly interrupted.

"An accident? I understand Rachel was just messing around, but she can't get out of this so quickly because 'it was just an accident.' She shouldn't have acted so carelessly," Ross explained, his temper rising. His friends were shocked by his hostility.

It began to feel uncomfortable in Ross' small room. Not one person was quite sure what else to say. Both Joey and Chandler looked at the ground. Phoebe played with the many rings on her fingers; her typical upbeat mood was certainly mellowed by the recent event. Monica watched Ross as he stared at the cast on his leg.

Everyone was deep in thought. All, except Ross, were reflecting upon relatively the same question: What was becoming of Ross and Rachel?

It hurt them all to see Rachel so torn up over this. However, it hurt even more to see Ross' reaction. He was not acting like himself. He was always a stubborn person, but to be so bitter towards Rachel was not like him. He was hostile after he and Rachel broke up, but not to this degree.

It seemed like everything had changed over the past few hours. The mood throughout the group had taken a turn for the worse. Not one of them was acting like themself. Chandler hadn't cracked a joke. Phoebe had none of her regularly bizarre personality. Joey hadn't said a word about wanting food or one of the hot nurses. Monica just looked drained.

Maybe they were still adjusting to what had transpired, but maybe the group had been leveled by this hard time.

Monica watched as Ross' faced twisted with increasing pain. Joey quickly strode out the door to get some help.

A nurse followed him back in.

"Are the painkillers starting to wear off?" The nurse questioned. Ross turned his head to look at her, his eyebrows furrowed in intensifying agony.

"Uh, you think?" Ross asked, impatiently.

"I'm going to give you a higher dose so you can sleep the night," The nurse said to Ross before hanging up the IV bag she was holding. "I think you should let your friend rest," The nurse suggested to the other four.

"We'll be back tomorrow, Ross," Monica said, before kissing him on the forehead. The other three chorused in goodbyes and goodnights before they all exited the room awkwardly.

…..

On the way out of the hospital Monica stopped Doctor Arnold to talk to him. As she sat in Ross' room she remembered a question to ask the doctor.

"Will Ross and Rachel be alright to come to our wedding? It's two weeks away," Monica explained. Doctor Arnold nodded and smiled for the first time since they'd met him.

"Ross may need to wear a brace of some sort to walk in his cast, but other than that I don't see any issues," Doctor Arnold stated. "While you were visiting Ross I took Rachel for her CT scan, and everything looked pretty much normal. They should both almost be fully recovered by then."

"Thank you, doctor," Monica acknowledged. She was relieved that Chandler's best man and her maid of honor would be able to be up at the alter with them, in a two short weeks.

…..

It had been the same routine for a few days now. The four friends would spend the time they were not at work with Ross and Rachel, at the hospital.

Phoebe and Joey sat alone in the hospital cafeteria one morning. Monica and Chandler were visiting Rachel and Ross.

The two friends sat at the fake-wood table in their plastic chairs, both lost in thought. Joey was enjoying his large breakfast complete with toast, bacon, eggs, and anything else the cafeteria was serving.

Phoebe didn't want anything to eat; she just drank her coffee, which was nowhere near as good as anything from Central Perk. She sighed as she placed the Styrofoam cup on the table.

Joey stopped eating and looked at his friend.

"You okay Pheebs?" Joey asked, genuinely concerned. Phoebe hadn't been herself for days, which was understandable since none of them were really back to normal.

"I just don't think Ross and Rachel will recover from this," Phoebe admitted.

"Do you mean romantically?" Joey questioned.

"Well, yeah, and friendship-wise too," Phoebe disclosed. "The more I think about it, the more I see them growing apart." Joey stared at Phoebe with a puzzled appearance.

"You really think they won't work things out?" Joey asked.

"Think about it Joey," Phoebe said, as she herself thought about her lobsters. "This is going to be tough for them to get over."

…..

Monica sat on a chair she had pulled up beside Rachel's bed. Rachel's doctor had just left, after telling her she was free to go home the following morning. Monica and Rachel sat in silence. Both were thankful Rachel was well enough to leave, but they just couldn't find a way to start a normal conversation.

Eventually Monica's patience wore thin; she needed to break this tension.

"Rach?" Monica asked, gently.

"Yes?" Rachel said, snapping out of her reveries.

"I want you to come and stay with me," Monica stated. Rachel gave her a look of uncertainty.

"Mon, that's really kind, but-," Rachel began, but she stopped talking as Joey and Phoebe entered the room. There was a moment of awkward silence, before Joey walked over to crouch beside Rachel's bed. He had overheard Monica's offer.

"Actually Rach, I don't think that's such a bad idea. Monica can take care of you for a few days while you totally heal. You know she will take care of you better than I can," Joey explained, before uneasily chuckling. Rachel knew Joey had a point; Monica was like the mother hen of their group.

"Are you sure Joe?" Rachel asked. Joey nodded yes and gave her hand a small squeeze in encouragement.

"I'll be back in a few minutes, you guys," Monica stated. Rachel knew Monica was going see Ross, and that made her sad.

However, it wasn't Monica leaving to visit Ross that bothered her; it was the fact that this situation was beginning to remind her of when she and Ross broke up. Their friends were caught in the middle, trying to spend time with both of them without offending the other. It was not a memory Rachel enjoyed being reminded of.

Was this how it would be from now on? Would she and Ross keep their friends in the middle of their problems, again? It didn't seem fair to do that to them. Not again.

Monica uncomfortably exited the room. She proceeded down the hall to where her brother was staying. But before she reached the door she spotted one of Ross' nurses.

"Excuse me?" Monica said to get the nurse's attention.

"Yes? Is everything okay?" The nurse asked. She had a look of concern in her soft hazel eyes.

"Everything is fine. Um, I was just wondering if you knew when Ross will be free to leave," Monica said.

"The doctor will need to check him out one last time tomorrow, but after that he's free to go," The nurse explained.

"Thank you," Monica responded, before continuing into Ross' room. Chandler was already in there, he'd been there all morning.

Chandler had been hoping that by talking to Ross alone he might be able to gauge his true feelings. But all Chandler had received was more anger, more irritation. It seemed like Ross had really changed after the car accident.

Both Ross and Chandler observed Monica enter. Chandler was thankful and relieved to have another person to talk to.

After a small conversation with Ross, the room had become dead silent, and not to mention awkward. Chandler usually used jokes to cut tension, but he sensed that not even one of his top notch sarcastic comments would help in this moment.

"So, the nurse in the hall told me you're free to go home tomorrow," Monica started, nervously.

Ross' stone cold exterior transformed into that of depression. He noticed Monica seemed scared to talk to him, still. Is that the point he had reached? He was so changed by this accident that his own sister was actually tiptoeing around him?

Ross began to feel disgusted with himself. First, he was actually able to stay furious with Rachel. _Rachel_. Now he was making his sister see him as a bomb waiting to go off. As he thought about it, it wasn't only his sister tiptoeing around him, his other friends were too. Was he really that terrifyingly angry?

"That's, uh, good to hear," Ross responded awkwardly, his mind on other things.

"Ross, I don't want you to be alone at your apartment. You're going to need help, with your broken leg and all," Monica explained.

"Mon, I'm sure I can take care of myself," Ross muttered.

"Are you sure? I mean, Phoebe could-," Monica began to explain hastily, before Ross interjected.

"Mon… I just want to be alone. I-I need time," Ross explained, as he stared at her eyes.

Monica studied her brother, something about his expression made her stop her planning. His eyes were filled with pleading and, not to mention, pain. He was hurt, he was lost, he really did look like he needed time to be on his own – maybe he would sort out his state of mind.

"We'll check in on you, man," Chandler decided to say, breaking the silence. Ross turned to face Chandler, giving him an approving nod, wordlessly thanking him for understanding.

The car accident had taken a toll on the group - that was obvious. But maybe, just maybe, Ross and Rachel being home would make things better. Make things a bit more normal.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: I'm back, and ready to focus on this story. I know this is dark, especially for Friends. But I've never written in this style before, I want to try something new. **

**I have to say, it was a wonderful feeling to return from the cottage to see all your reviews. Thank you everyone. It brightened my day when I just want to cry.**

_**- R.I.P. Sara - Lost in a heartbeat at only 17 -**_

**Please enjoy this chapter, I'm sorry for the wait, and review. **

**Disclaimer: The characters from Friends do not belong to me.**

* * *

_One Week Later…_

Ross lay on his leather couch, his casted leg propped up on a stack of pillows. He blankly stared at the television screen; even the Discovery Channel wasn't enough to captivate his attention.

Joey sat in the chair in Ross' living room. He leaned his elbows on his legs, hunched over, focused on the ground. The four friends had been taking turns visiting Ross; sometimes it was just one of them sometimes more than one. But it seemed like everyone was acknowledged in the same manner.

Ross didn't say much. He didn't want to listen. He was completely unlike himself, still. It could possibly take more than a week for him to return to normal. But as each day came and went without improvement, the friends dreaded the possibility that this could be his permanent new attitude.

Ross had been taking time off work ever since the accident, which surprisingly was his own idea. Maybe it was because he couldn't stand without crutches, but maybe he knew he needed to get his attitude in check before returning to a room full of students.

Joey sat in silence, trying not to let the tears in his eyes spill over. It was hard on him to see his best friends acting like this. Ross and Rachel were far from their old selves. Ross was hostile and closed off from life, all he wanted to do was be angry. Meanwhile, Rachel was fixated on blaming herself. She was appalled with herself for what she had done, which was now tearing the group apart.

"Ross. You know, this is hurting Rachel too," Joey whispered, deeply filled with the emotion that was weighing on his shoulders. In fact the same feeling was experienced by all the friends; helplessness, sorrow, worry.

They were so hesitant about what they should do. Talk sense into them? Pretend nothing was wrong in the hopes that this rough patch would soon blow over? Was there a therapist they should send their friends to see?

Ross glanced over at Joey. Joey opened his mouth to speak again, but the look in Ross' eyes made his words evaporate. Ross' eyes did not look like his own; Joey could have sworn he was met by a stranger's icy stare. The warmth and laughter in Ross' brown eyes was long gone, only to be replaced by pain and frustration.

The friends often tried telling Ross about Rachel, but they were only met by angry stares or outbursts of pent up irritation. But the worst times were when they were met by inconsolable sadness.

Unknown to his friends was how much Ross hated doing this to them. It hurt that they feared him, it hurt that they were here in shifts to comfort him or take care of him, not just hang out with him.

But Ross had made his decision: he didn't want to see Rachel or hear about Rachel. And if this was the only way to make that possible, he would suffer the consequences.

He knew this was affecting the entire group; it wasn't hard to figure out. He could see it in their eyes when they came to visit. He and Rachel were hurting them, deeply.

He didn't want to put them through this anymore. It was only breaking his heart to see their pained expressions as they came and went.

Nonetheless, it was Rachel who was constantly on his mind.

He was perplexed by these conflicting emotions about her. One minute he wanted to be furious with her, then the next he wanted to cry at her feet, begging for her friendship or even her love.

That was exactly the reason he felt he should be left alone. He needed time to think and sort out his feelings.

He was acting hostile towards his friends in the hopes that they would stop coming. If they left him alone they could stop being hurt by him, they could leave him be and go back to their normal lives. Ross just didn't have the courage to tell them to leave.

How could he stop feeling this way towards Rachel? Maybe with time the wounds would heal, maybe time would give him answers.

Was he going crazy in the meantime, shutting his friends out when they could help him? Probably.

But, this was how he needed to deal with it all, the tantalizing fear, the staggering pain.

He covered his feelings with anger, trying to convince the others that that's all he felt. Anger was the easiest emotion to express without being questioned; any other emotion would need justification. Explaining feelings was not something Ross wanted to begin, not when he hadn't figured out how to explain them in the first place.

He was shutting Rachel out so he wouldn't do anything to hurt her; shutting her out until he could try and forgive her. Perhaps it wasn't the right way to handle the issue, but it worked for him. It hurt him least to just stay angry about it all.

…..

Rachel sat alone in Monica and Chandler's guest room, the same room that had been her bedroom years ago. Now the room possessed the atmosphere of a holding cell, Rachel only came out every once and a while.

She didn't want to see anyone. She didn't want to meet the wounded expressions she knew she had put on their faces.

Her carelessness had created the distance between the friends. This realization was just something she couldn't deal with at the moment.

It pained her to the bone to see the life she had destroyed. The life of happily spending time at Central Perk, or the comforting evenings after work at Monica and Chandler's apartment. The six friends were inseparable and, above all, happy. Now look at the mess they were in, look at the sadness she had created.

She could see the burden she had created for her friends. It was apparent that they were all caught between her and Ross, once again.

She had driven Ross away and created a giant, gaping hole in their friendship. The day he would forgive her was not within sight. That is, if he _would_ forgive her.

The only thing Rachel couldn't figure out was why he was taking this so hard.

She knew she had been thoughtless and almost gotten them killed, but was that really a reason to be _this_ angry with her? There must be another motive behind his rage. A motive Rachel could not seem to grasp.

Rachel glanced over at her nightstand. Beside Monica's stack of comment cards and vase of fresh flowers the clock read 2:14 in the morning.

Rachel rolled over on her side, ready to make an effort to sleep once more. Lately sleeping had become quite a battle, her mind was too cluttered with swirling thoughts and guilt. During the day the thoughts were nearly manageable, but at night they became impossible to ignore.

It was strange how sleeping could clear her mind. It was an escape from it all, and yet it was so hard to allow its welcoming arms pull her into nothingness.

Tonight was another night of tossing and turning. Luckily, sleep washed over her after she was able to distract herself with happy memories.

She opened her eyes to fluorescent lights. Everything was washed out, like all the colour had leached from her sight.

Rachel knew she was in the hospital; the IV tube was in her arm, the nearby beeping from her heart monitor echoed through the room. She lay under the faded sheets on the lumpy mattress.

Suddenly a man appeared in front of her, Rachel propped herself up on her elbows to see him. Strangely, it seemed like he was the only object in the room that was in focus. Everything else in Rachel's vision was foggy.

She knew that man, it was Doctor Arnold. He stood before her in his lab coat, clipboard in hand. It felt like she had seen that expression on his face before.

He turned to leave, when a woman's voice filled the silence. The voice didn't sound familiar, but oddly Rachel knew it came from her.

"Wait, Doctor Arnold," Rachel said, in the voice that couldn't have been her own. It was so rough and frantic. But, she remembered uttering these same words before.

"Yes?" Doctor Arnold questioned; he turned around to face her.

"I-Is Ross okay?" She spoke, softly. Tears began to fill her eyes.

"Ms. Green, we did all we could," Doctor Arnold paused, and Rachel began to feel very cold. It was as if someone had dropped a bucket of ice-water over her entire body. "But, we couldn't save him."

Rachel could have sworn she had been shot in the heart; she was in so much pain. She couldn't breathe.

Ross had died, and it was all her fault.

Doctor Arnold disappeared through the door before long. As Rachel's eyes followed him she saw a sight she would not soon forget.

Everything suddenly became dark, like someone had dimmed the lights. As she stared at the doorway, it was like black ink swirling through water, beginning to fill her field of view.

Being wheeled past her door was a body bag. The most disturbing part was the one lifeless, pale hand hanging out of it. She knew that hand; she knew who it belonged to.

Rachel opened her eyes and she was in the guest bedroom again. Her heart felt like it was going to beat out of her chest, her breathing came out in short gasps. Her body trembled as she sat there in a sickly cold sweat.

It was a dream, and yet it had been so vivid, so real. Rachel tried to distract herself, but the image of Ross' limp hand haunted her, making her shiver to the core.

Her stomach churned as she felt repulsed, not by the image but by herself.

Rapidly, she began feeling terribly sick to her stomach. Rachel got up from her bed. She forced her trembling legs to move, as she rushed across the apartment. When she reached the bathroom she was violently ill.

When she was done retching, she weakly collapsed to sit on the floor beside the toilet. She pulled her knees to her chest, as if she was trying to hold herself together. It didn't work, it didn't help.

She had reached her breaking point, she had hit rock bottom. She sobbed hard, her body still shaking.

This was the moment Monica came in.

Rachel had done this the past few nights - woken up with vivid dreams. She just sat next to Rachel and put an arm around her shoulders. Rachel leaned her head against Monica, continuing to sob.

She wasn't sure why this dream had hit her so hard. Was it the fact that that dream could have been reality, she could have killed Ross? Was she just losing her mind by troubling it with all her strangled thoughts? She figured it was both combined that bothered her.

It seemed like hours before Rachel calmed down. Monica wordlessly eased her up off the bathroom floor, and helped her walk to the living room.

Rachel was too exhausted to make it back to her bedroom, nor did she want to be back in the room where she had had that dream, so she opted to sleep on the couch. Monica covered her in a blanket, before flopping into the large chair.

Tears fell down Monica's cheeks as she watched Rachel drift off into an uneasy sleep. Monica was normally so strong, but not when she saw her best friend like this. Rachel was not the same; her friend was slipping away from her.

…..

Chandler hung up the phone, letting out a sigh of relief. He had done it, he had phoned his father.

He had been on the edge about calling him ever since the accident made them cancel their trip. He was unsure if he should do it. But he did it, he made the call.

The conversation had been a bit awkward, but Chandler had done what he set out to do. He invited his father to the wedding. His father seemed honored and grateful to be invited; he happily said he'd be there.

Chandler had a slight bounce to his step as he entered the living room. But his moment of cheerfulness was quickly washed away when he caught sight of Rachel.

Rachel seemed disturbed, as she propped herself up off the couch in a daze. Terrible dreams and a lack of sleep were taking their toll on her body, Chandler assumed. Her dishevelled hair stuck to the clammy skin on her face and neck. Her pale skin looked almost transparent in the morning sunlight.

Rachel looked up at him, trying to muster a small smile, but she only appeared more fragile. Chandler returned the smile, before quickly returning to a neutral expression.

"Monica already went to work earlier. I have to go as well…" Chandler trailed off, unsure if Rachel would be alright on her own.

"It's okay Chandler. I'm actually going to go to see my doctor," Rachel stated.

"Oh?" Chandler asked.

"It's these dreams and the distress, I think I've made myself sick," Rachel admitted, as she remembered waking up in a cold sweat numerous times in the night.

"Well, Monica and I will be back later… Good luck," Chandler said, tentatively, before leaving for work.

Rachel took her time getting dressed as the room spun, making her feel sick to her stomach once again. But soon she was out the door, flagging down a taxi.

…..

The doctor's office smelt like rubber gloves and cleaning supplies. The door to the room was closed and yet the sounds of people's coughing and sneezing still reached her ears.

Rachel sat on the edge of the doctor's examination table, her hands clasped in her lap. The walls were filled with many colourful posters ranging from the symptoms of asthma to hepatitis shots. Rachel glanced from them to the jars of cotton balls and tongue depressors. But, before long, the doorknob turned and her doctor entered.

He was a balding man with half-moon glasses resting on his rosy nose. He wore a lab coat and a stethoscope around the back of his neck. He carried Rachel's file, which he placed on his desk before taking a seat on his swiveling stool.

He looked at Rachel over the top of his glasses, his kind eyes gave Rachel a sense of comfort.

"Before we begin, I hear you were in a car accident recently?" Doctor Franklin said with a serious tone folded into his deep voice.

"Yes, I was," Rachel admitted, swallowing hard as memories flooded her mind.

"Just clarifying, since the hospital faxed over some papers for me to read," Doctor Franklin stated. Then he swivelled on his stool to flip through Rachel's file. He traced his finger across a few papers and stopped to skim over others. "So, it says here you suffered quite a substantial concussion," Doctor Franklin said, spinning back around to look at Rachel, folder in hand.

"Yes," Was all Rachel could muster.

"Let's see. You were on IV fluids and a heart monitor. They did a blood test to make sure you hadn't gotten any infections…" Doctor Franklin stopped flipping through the papers at this. The smile on his face faded, as he furrowed his eyebrows.

Rachel's heart began to pound, as her doctor read over the document in silence. He looked serious, and what Rachel could only describe as baffled.

"I-Is something wrong?" Rachel asked, trying to keep her voice from shaking. The tension in the room was suffocating.

"Um, what was it you came in for, my dear?" Doctor Franklin questioned, he stared over his glasses at Rachel.

"I've been having night sweats and vivid dreams, which have worsened over the past few nights. And um, I've been feeling lightheaded and nauseous because of them…" Rachel explained, forgetting her thoughts as she observed her doctor. Something about the way he nodded while he listened and read the tests from the hospital made her feel uneasy.

"Just, uh, hold on a moment Rachel," Doctor Franklin said without as much as an explanation as to where he was going.

He stood up and, taking Rachel's file with him, exited the small room. He closed the door behind him with a click.

Rachel began to feel worried, panicked even, as she sat on the table in silence. Her head began to spin with possibilities.

She knew that something must have been wrong.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: I'm trying to update as fast as I can for all my wonderful readers. ;)**

**Thank you again for the reviews. Enjoy the chapter.**

**Disclaimer: The characters from Friends do not belong to me.**

* * *

Time seemed to pass at an agonizingly slow rate as she waited on the examination table.

Every muscle in her body was tense with building panic. Her heartbeat had sped up enough to feel it pulsing in her ears. She tried to calm herself down as her breathing accelerated. Each second that passed only gave her more time to think, more time to worry.

Rachel startled when the door clicked open.

Rachel watched as Doctor Franklin returned to his stool again. His body was uncharacteristically rigid; his facial expression was neutral, making it difficult to understand whether it was good or bad news.

Once more, he looked over the top of his glasses at her; however, his normally comforting gaze didn't make Rachel feel any better. Something about his eyes gave off a serious vibe.

She waited patiently for him to speak, but inside she was about to burst from the tension. She tried to maintain her composure as trepidation surged through her veins.

"I'm sorry to have kept you waiting, but I needed to make a quick phone call to the hospital," Doctor Franklin began. His voice did not waver, giving Rachel a slight optimistic sensation.

"Why did you need to do that?" Rachel asked, her expression a mixture of confusion and concern.

"I wanted to confirm the results of the blood test," Doctor Franklin stated, reinforcing his point by emphasising the file he still carried in his hand.

"What's going on?" Rachel questioned, trying not to let her irritation show.

"Rachel, the reason I was concerned about the hospital's accuracy is that the blood test they sent me states that you are pregnant," Doctor Franklin revealed.

Rachel's breath caught in her throat as she placed a hand over her open mouth. She was not expecting that news.

Rachel immediately knew the father was Ross. Their "bonus night" took place only a few weeks previous, they must have conceived this baby on that night.

Rachel had to hold back tears as the reality of the situation washed over her. Ross was not talking to her, the group was already in complete disarray, and now she was going to have a baby.

It felt like a crazy dream, this couldn't actually be happening. Any moment she would wake up and be back in Monica's guest bedroom. However, Rachel was snapped out of her daze by Doctor Franklin's deep voice cutting through the silence.

He had been quietly noting Rachel's shock. He was aware of how bizarre it was to spring such surprising news on her. Obviously she had not been expecting to hear this, she looked frightened. He didn't want to panic her any further, so he spoke gently.

"I'll set up an ultrasound appointment for you, so it can be done as soon as possible," Doctor Franklin explained, watching her gaze focus on him instead of past him. "You shouldn't have anything to worry about; I just want to be certain the accident didn't do any harm."

All Rachel could do was give her doctor a curt nod in response. She didn't trust her voice, not when her throat felt like someone had their hand around it. She was stunned and terrified. She began to regret her choice to come here alone.

Somewhere in Rachel's mind it became evident that the vivid dreams, the night sweats, the nausea, were all symptoms of her pregnancy.

She slid her hand from her mouth, and subconsciously let it rest on her lower stomach.

Everything after she left the examination room became a blur. The shock of the recent news had not worn off. Rachel's attention was not focused on Doctor Franklin saying goodbye, or the receptionist telling her where to go for her ultrasound.

Her thoughts were far from what she was doing; in fact they drifted to Ross.

…..

Ross sat in bed, a book in hand. But his thoughts were interfering with his reading. He had reread the same paragraph a number of times, having to start over after distracting himself from the words on the page.

He quickly became fed up with attempting to read. There were so many views interlaced with emotions rifling through his mind. He put the book on his side table, letting out an exasperated sigh.

He was confused, but he couldn't determine his emotional state. He was hurt, but he couldn't find comfort. He was tired, and yet sleep wouldn't encircle him.

Nightmares had plagued Ross' sleep since the accident. Every time he closed his eyes he would be back in that car or back struggling to reach Rachel. He would often jolt awake during a dream or as he was drifting off to sleep.

During the day, Ross couldn't stop imagining the accident. Each time he relived it he remembered more details. He could now hear the sound of the screeching tires and crunching metal echo through his dreams. He had recalled that Rachel screamed the moment they veered off the road. It sent chills down his spine each time the shrill screech repeated in his head.

He remembered how it felt to be in the car as it rolled. He cringed at the memory of being at the mercy of the car's flipping. It brought the point where he hit his head to the forefront of his recollection. The worst memory was when he had recalled the nauseating snapping sound of the bones in his leg breaking.

However, the torment didn't stop there. He also began thinking of ways he could have stopped the accident from happening. It had come to him in one of his daydreams, how simple it would have been to reach out his hand and grab the steering wheel when Rachel had let go.

He also could have stopped Rachel from getting in the driver's seat in the first place. If he hadn't given her the opportunity to steal the keys from his pocket by leaving for the restroom, or if he hadn't stopped by Central Perk at all, they wouldn't be in this mess.

It baffled him to see the aftermath of such an event change people in so many ways. Ross could barely recognize himself, which was the scariest part. His irritation and loneliness was caused by his own choices, his own state of mind.

Could he change, and go back to normal? It wasn't as if he didn't have justification for his anger. He was infuriated that Rachel put their lives at risk just to mock him, ultimately causing unnecessary pain for the entire group.

Time heals all wounds, but Ross did not have knowledge of the amount of time it would take to recover after this wound.

…..

Rachel sat in yet another doctor's office waiting room. It turned out the OB/GYN had had a cancelation, so Doctor Franklin convinced them to let Rachel have that time slot. She waited in a rigid manner as she became more and more uncomfortable in this unfamiliar setting.

Beside her was a noticeably pregnant woman, holding the hand of a man. Across from her was another pair. Rachel wrapped her arms around herself as both couples made her feel more alone than ever.

"Rachel Green?" The receptionist called, bringing Rachel out of her musings. "Follow me," She said, after Rachel turned her attention to her. Rachel stood up and promptly obeyed the woman.

Each step she took only gave her more butterflies in her stomach, only made her nerves more intolerable. Rachel pictured the two couples from the waiting room making this same trip; they'd probably be bursting with excitement, not weakened by nerves.

They reached the door to the examination room within seconds.

"The doctor will be here shortly. Just change into this gown and take a seat up on the bed," The receptionist explained, handing Rachel a gown.

Rachel did as she was told, and before long a doctor in yet another lab coat came into the room. She introduced herself as Doctor Young. She was a short, slender lady, with smooth brown hair and soft brown eyes. She smiled at Rachel as she sat down on a rolling chair, then she turned to prepare the ultrasound machine.

All Rachel could do was stare at the screen, lost in thought again. The whole experience was surreal. It was a lot to grasp in a matter of hours, a few short hours that had changed her life. She still couldn't believe this was really happening. In mere seconds she would see her and Ross' baby. It saddened her that Ross wasn't here to share this experience.

Would he ever want to be part of this experience?

Rachel almost gasped out loud when the cold gel on the ultrasound probe touched her skin, thoroughly pulling her from her trance.

She continued to watch the monitor as lines and streaks of white and varying shades of grey intermingled across the black screen.

"So, this is your uterus," Doctor Young said softly, as she pointed at the screen. "And if I zoom in right here, this small shape is your baby."

Rachel could have sworn her heart stopped. That light-coloured little silhouette was a baby. Her baby. Ross' baby.

"That flickering area is the heart beating. And this shape here is the yolk sac. The size of the embryo and the fact that the heart is beating tells me that you're almost four weeks along," Doctor Young explained. Then she continued to scan for a few minutes.

Rachel watched with bated breath. The white and grey shapes continued to swirl, constantly changing as the doctor moved the probe. Rachel was caught in a trance, concern rising as the doctor stayed silent. Rachel breathed when Doctor Young's soft voice filled the room.

"Okay, we're all done here. You have nothing to be concerned about. Everything looks normal," Doctor Young stated. "I'll inform Doctor Franklin."

Tears filled Rachel's eyes. She realized how overwhelming this news really was. She was still speechless, but knowing the baby was healthy despite the accident calmed her a bit.

As she lay there, a realization hit her. Right there, in that moment, she only let that one thought fill her mind. It made her feel uneasy, but it also pleased her beyond any measure.

She was going to be a mother.

…..

The city passed by her window at an unhurried pace, traffic congested the road. In the backseat of the cab Rachel's thoughts began to catch up with her.

She couldn't hold back her tears any longer, as they silently ran down her cheeks. In her hands she held the ultrasound picture she'd been given. Ever since she got in the cab she couldn't take her eyes off the little dot in the midst of the wavy background.

As they turned a corner, Rachel could sense she was getting closer to home. The buildings she noticed in the corner of her eye started looking familiar.

She glanced at her watch, and a realization crossed her mind. Monica would be home from work. Knowing Monica she'd want to know what the doctor said. Rachel had a horrible feeling in the pit of her stomach; she was going to have to tell her friends the news.

The backseat of the cab instantly felt like it was closing in on her. This was so much for her to handle in one day, could she add telling Monica on top of it all?

Rachel figured there was no harm in waiting to tell her? After all, Monica didn't tell her about dating Chandler for months. But, this was different. Plus it would mean Rachel would have to keep a secret on top of trying to deal with the aftermath of the accident.

Earlier, Rachel hadn't thought about what bad timing this was. On top of coping with Ross' temper, everyone was also trying to deal with her emotional tendencies. Not to mention Monica and Chandler's wedding was only a week away. Now Rachel would have to add her pregnancy to the mix.

The taxi came to a stop. Rachel was still in a trance as she paid the driver before carefully getting out of the car.

She stopped outside the apartment; she couldn't help but be fixated on the small ultrasound picture once more. She didn't care that the people passing her on the sidewalk gave her strange looks.

Rachel made a snap decision before tucking the square of paper into a pocket in her purse. She believed the right choice was to keep this a secret until things were a little less hectic.

…..

Monica stood at the large window in her living room. Across the street was Ross' apartment. She took a minute to see if she could spot him in his living room.

But, Ross' plaid curtains were drawn. Recently, he had been closing himself off from being seen.

Monica remembered when she had visited him a few days ago. A wave of sadness washed over her as she summoned the memory of her last encounter with her brother.

…_Flashback…_

_Monica sat beside Ross on his couch. As Monica tried to converse with him she was met with a cold shoulder. She was so tired of this, she would try to talk to him and he would be silent in return. _

"_Ross, you're not the only one in the group being affected by this. We're all struggling. Especially Rachel," Monica stated, trying to stay calm. But when Ross' response was a hostile glance Monica experienced a moment of intense aggravation with his on-going attitude._

"_Ross you need to grow up and stop acting selfish. I'm just trying to help you. If you don't want me here just tell me and I'll leave," Monica stated, angrily. _

"_I don't think this is something you can help me with, Mon. I-I need time to sort things out," Ross said sadly. Monica watched her brother put his head in his hands. She thought he might be angry, putting his head in his hands in frustration, but soon his body began to lurch and she realized he was crying._

_..._

Monica had to wipe a tear from her eye, when she heard the apartment door open. She turned to see Rachel enter.

Rachel looked different. Instead of a depressed expression, she wore a troubled look.

"Hey Rach," Monica greeted. Rachel watched her friend approach her.

"Hi Mon," Rachel responded, before looking at the ground. She still stood in the entryway, as Monica came into the kitchen.

"Chandler phoned me to let me know you went to the doctor. Everything okay?" Monica asked, concerned.

"I went because I was worried I was making myself sick," Rachel explained. "But, uh, my doctor said I'm just dealing with the car accident trauma."

"Okay. I'm glad you're alright, then," Monica answered. But, there was something about Rachel's body language that left her with a strange feeling.

Rachel hated lying to her best friend, but she wasn't ready to tell people. There would be questions to answer and so many things to sort out. Rachel couldn't stand the thought of adding more complication to their already out of control situation.

"I'm going to be in my room," Rachel stated after an awkward silence. Monica nodded, watching as Rachel tentatively crept to the guest room.

Monica couldn't help as her tears began to fall once more. Ross and Rachel were both miserable, and there seemed to be nothing she could do to change that. This was supposed to be a happy time, they were supposed to be enjoying the days leading up to her and Chandler's wedding.

Where were the two people she used to know? In fact, where was the group of friends she used to know?

When she last saw Joey he'd barely spoken, and he certainly wasn't smiling. Chandler's attitude was similar to Joey's. They both seemed very uncomfortable.

Phoebe wasn't herself either. The old Phoebe would have suggested some sort of aura cleansing to do for Ross and Rachel or she would have come up with a plan to get her lobsters back on speaking terms. But it had been weeks since her quirky persona had shone through.

It all came down to Ross and Rachel's unhappiness. Her friend and brother were only shells of who they used to be. And that was tearing apart the people who loved them.

…..

Rachel paced back and forth beside her bed. There were so many things for her to think over. As her head began to spin, she sat on the bed and breathed deeply.

She couldn't stop thinking about the baby. She decided she would tell Ross before anyone else.

Would he want anything to do with her and this baby after the accident? Would he want to get together, or maybe get married?

This was too much for Rachel to handle. She wanted to talk to Monica about this so badly. But it just wasn't the right time; Monica needed to focus on her wedding. Rachel didn't want her to have to deal with the wedding, her and Ross, and then help her make decisions on top of it all.

Rachel knew what Monica would say; she would encourage her to talk about it with Ross. There was no use stressing about what Ross would say without knowing Ross' opinion on the matter.

However, talking to Ross was easier said than done. Before the accident this would have been so much easier. Now, it would be so much harder, considering they weren't on speaking terms.

Suddenly Rachel had a moment of epiphany. Maybe this news didn't have the bad timing that she originally thought. Now she would have a reason to motivate herself to talk to Ross. She would apologise to him first, and then they could sort out the accident. When that was over she would tell him about the baby.

Maybe this was a way to get everything to return to normal.

Rachel got up from the bed, with a new found confidence.

…..

She stood in the blue hallway, outside Ross' door. Rachel had chosen to talk to him immediately. She figured if they got it out of the way now, they could possibly have everything sorted out by the time Monica and Chandler's wedding came. The group of friends could go back to normal and they could all enjoy the wedding.

Rachel held her breath as she knocked on the door.

* * *

**AN…2: I apologise if any of my medical facts are wrong. When I volunteered at an ultrasound/x-ray clinic I did have the opportunity to sit in on a few ultrasounds and learn a number of things. But it was a few months ago, so I hope I remembered correctly. **


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Seriously, thank you for the reviews. I'm going out of my comfort zone with this story, so I'm happy to have the encouragement.**

**Please enjoy… and review... **

**Disclaimer: The characters from Friends do not belong to me.**

* * *

A short time ago, Monica had watched as Rachel entered the living room, simply announcing that she was going to talk to Ross. Rachel had left as if she were on a mission, without waiting to hear a response.

Monica was nervous for Rachel. She even considered running after her, to tell her to stop, but she had prevented herself from doing so.

On one hand, she wondered if this could be the breakthrough Ross and Rachel so desperately needed. On the other hand, she worried that Rachel's courageous effort would lead to a step in the wrong direction for the two. Could this do more harm than it good?

After briefly deliberating, she decided to let Rachel go. Rachel was fully capable of deciding for herself what needed to be done.

As Monica started to prepare dinner, she heard the apartment door swing open. She glanced over her shoulder to see Phoebe and Joey arrive.

"Hey, Mon," Phoebe said. Her greeting sounded strange, far from its typical cheerfulness.

"Hey Pheebs, Joey," Monica replied, acknowledging both her friends. She was surprised to see them both walk in, but when they began a relaxed conversation she immediately felt comfortable.

Ever since visiting Ross and Rachel in the hospital, it seemed like everyone needed their space. The burden of seeing their two friends change in such a short period of time was difficult. The four found it hard to be around each other when they all couldn't be together.

Despite half of their group's absence, Monica could feel that at least _they_ were slowly returning to normal after the accident.

"Is Rachel in her room?" Joey asked, during a break in their small talk. He spoke in a hushed voice, as if he were telling a secret. Recently Joey had determined he needed to share his feelings regarding this ordeal. He just didn't want to hurt Rachel's feelings in the process.

Only recently had they been able to talk openly about Ross and Rachel. For at least a week after the crash, everyone was afraid to express what they thought. Talking about it only verified this aftermath was really happening. Conversations became awkward as they tried to find topics other than the elephant in the room.

"No, she went to talk to Ross," Monica responded, with a nervous edge.

"What?" Phoebe exclaimed. Her face lit up with excitement. Joey looked genuinely shocked. "Why didn't you tell us sooner?" Phoebe asked, sounding more like herself.

"You guys _just_ got here," Monica declared, baffled.

"I know that," Phoebe stated, with an eye roll. Meanwhile, Joey made his way over to see what Monica was cooking.

"Did she tell you what she was going to say to him?" Joey asked, curiously.

"No, she barely said anything," Monica revealed. Just as a silence fell over the room, Chandler came home from work.

"Who barely said anything?" Chandler asked, before walking over to kiss Monica on the cheek.

"Rachel. She left without saying what she was going to talk to Ross about," Phoebe stated, completely engrossed in the matter at hand.

"Rachel's gone to talk to Ross?" Chandler asked, feeling like he had missed out on important news.

"Yes, she left a few minutes ago," Monica specified. The whole group was quiet, not knowing what to say. They all felt anxious, wondering how this conversation would go. It was Joey who broke the silence, tired of bottling up emotions.

"I really hope they work this out," Joey declared, timorously addressing his friends. "I think you guys agree that this has been hard to deal with."

"It feels like their break up just… worse," Chandler added, before putting his hands in his pockets.

"Do you guys think they'll work this out?" Joey whined, drained by distress.

"The last time I saw Ross he seemed upset," Monica revealed, remembering him breaking down in front of her.

"He's really getting on my nerves with this whole anger thing," Phoebe admitted, bitterly. "I mean, I know Rachel made a mistake but, how could he really be this mad?"

"Before you say anything else, I meant I think he's miserable. When I last visited him he actually broke down into tears Pheebs. I don't think it's just anger," Monica disclosed. Phoebe immediately softened.

"Maybe there's more to this than we thought," Phoebe divulged, casting a serious tone over the conversation.

"No matter what is behind both their feelings, I'm tired of seeing them act this way. It's really upsetting me," Joey admitted, hesitantly looking around at his friends.

"It's alright Joe. I think we've all been bothered by this," Chandler said, putting a hand on Joey's shoulder. The two women nodded in agreement.

"I want to help them, but we really don't know _exactly_ what's wrong, you know?" Joey explained.

"I feel the same way. Ross is just giving us the cold shoulder. Then there's Rachel who looks so fragile, I don't want to make her worse," Monica stated. The rest of the group unanimously expressed their confirmation that they felt the same way.

"Let's just hope they can sort this out," Phoebe stated.

…..

Ross heard a knock at his door. He considered not getting up to answer it. He didn't want to see his friends at this time, not when he had a few new revelations to ponder.

He had been contemplating these same thoughts the day Monica had visited, he had broken down because of these reflections.

Nonetheless, something made him get up.

It took a while for Ross to answer the door. Rachel could hear him approaching, the sound of his crutches against the floor becoming louder with each step in her direction. Each thump made Rachel's heart pounded harder, made her panic about what to say to him.

However, Rachel's time to fret was cut short when Ross opened the door, with difficulty. It was clear he was shocked as soon as he caught sight of who was at his doorstep.

Ross had gone over this scenario in his head; he had planned what he would do if Rachel came to see him. But, having her there in the flesh made it hard to think. The last time he had seen her was the day of the accident. The pained look on her face was enough to make his plans vanish into thin air.

Her downcast eyes wouldn't meet his gaze. She looked distressed, her rigid stance made that obvious. Ross instantly knew that his friends were being honest when they had said Rachel was taking this hard. Everything about her appearance made him aware that she was hurting.

Ross wanted to stay angry; he wanted to tell her to stay away from him, before slamming the door. But, her presence made him hesitate.

"Can we talk?" Rachel asked tentatively. She managed to keep her voice steady, despite the shakiness in her legs.

Ross wasn't able to answer; he didn't know what to do. Was it really the right choice to talk now, when he hadn't completely decided how to feel?

Rachel turned her focus upwards to meet Ross' eyes. He realized he was staring at her, as their eyes met momentarily. He rapidly shifted his gaze to focus on something other than her. Rachel couldn't take his silence for another second.

"Please, Ross," Rachel insisted with a softness that seemed effortless.

"Fine," Ross replied, sounding harsher than he had intended.

Ross ambled towards his couch. Rachel shut the door behind her before following him into the seating area. She joined him awkwardly, sitting on the edge of the chair as he sat on the couch.

Ross wouldn't look her in the eye, he concentrated on his hands. The tension in the air was so thick it was suffocating. Rachel took a deep breath, trying to get rid of her nerves before she spoke.

"Ross. I want to apologise. I came to ask for your forgiveness," Rachel said, deciding not to beat around the bush. Ross had expected this, and yet he still had to take a moment to choose his words.

"I don't know if I can, Rach," Ross stated with a frustrated sigh.

"Why?" She had to blink back tears.

"I've had a lot of time to think recently…" When he hesitated, Rachel took the opportunity to interject.

"Ross, I'm so sorry about what I did. I really can't stand that this has hurt our friendship so much. The truth is that, I miss you Ross. I miss how it used to be before this happened," Rachel admitted, trying to swallow as it felt like a lump had formed in her throat.

"It feels like it was ages ago," Ross muttered, sadness swept across his face.

Ross closed his eyes, the pain in her voice breaking his heart. He could have easily given into her pleas. But, he'd come to realize it wasn't only the accident he was bothered by. There were a few other things that had been brought to light after this incident.

"Don't you remember where we were before this accident? That night we spent together…" Rachel mentioned, trying to get to her next goal of discussing the baby. But, Ross cut her off.

"You know, Rach, I actually thought we'd get together again, after that night. I've been so wrong about that in the past, I shouldn't have even let it cross my mind," Ross said, almost laughing at himself.

"Ross, listen. Can we please find a way to recover our friendship?" Rachel asked, thinking of how this was hurting not only them, but everyone else.

Ross wanted to give in to her offer, but chose to keep debating. Maybe it was because he was used to acting hostile, although he also had a point he was trying to make.

"I wish it was that simple Rachel. But, because of the accident, I've opened my mind. My time alone with my thoughts has really brought to my attention problems in the past and present. My point is, I don't know if I can go back to where we were before," Ross explained carefully.

Rachel felt like he had shot her in the heart, leaving her with a numb sensation that radiated from her head to her toes. She had predicted there was something other than the accident Ross was angry about, and yet it still came as a shock that he would react this way.

She immediately detected that this was not the right time to tell him she was pregnant.

Rachel had a hunch that if she mentioned the baby he would feel obligated to start a relationship, even if it was just friendship. Rachel didn't want to force him to do something he didn't want.

Ross was obviously still contemplating substantial problems concerning their relationship. It wasn't fair to give him another issue to worry about when he hadn't fully determined his outlook on this situation.

"Can you forgive me? Please Ross, even if it's only for the accident," Rachel pleaded, wanting to resolve at least one aspect. She looked at him with tears in her eyes as Ross began to shake his head. He could feel his temper rising, she just didn't understand.

"It's not that easy, Rach," Ross protested, finally looking up at her face.

"It was a mistake," Rachel stated, her own temper beginning to rise. Ross was being so stubborn, and that was starting to get on her nerves. "You're going to give up on our friendship because of this?" Rachel asked, intensely.

"That's not what I'm saying," Ross clarified, trying to stay calm as irritation surged through his body.

"Then what are you saying Ross?" Rachel questioned, almost shouting at him.

"It's hard to forgive. You know what this feels like," Ross explained. Rachel furrowed her eyebrows, giving him a confused squint.

"I don't know what you mean," Rachel said, beginning to calm down as her irritation melded into puzzlement.

"Well, you never forgave me for sleeping with Chloe, whether we had decided if we were on a break or not," Ross reasoned. Rachel opened her mouth to object, but clamped it shut when she realized he was telling the truth. Painful memories, she had pushed to the back of her mind, came at a rapid pace.

She remembered Ross' apology as if it had only happened yesterday: _I did a terrible, stupid, stupid thing. Okay? And I'm sorry, I wish I could take it back, but I can't. _She could still picture Ross on his knees, hugging her legs. A painful silence arose as they recalled that low point in both their lives.

"Ross, I just want things back to the way they were. I want our friends to stop feeling heartbroken because of us. We already did this to them once with our break-up, now this is worse," Rachel declared. Ross hated hurting his friends, but he wanted to fix this the right way.

"Do you know what I've been thinking about, Ross?" Rachel asked out of the blue.

"Um, no," Ross replied.

"I've realized how life can change in the blink of an eye. I mean, look at us. We were getting closer every day before I made this mistake, and now we're barely able to sit here and have a conversation," Rachel explained.

"I admit it Rach, I do want to fix our relationship. We just need to solve all the problems before I can feel comfortable again," Ross explained.

"What problems Ross?"

"Mainly, the break," Ross muttered.

"Ross I want to fix this. I care about not only our friendship but our relationship too. We were so close to being… on again. I want to be back in that place," Rachel revealed. Ever since finding out she was pregnant with Ross' child she had had an image in her head. She would tell him, and then they could work on their relationship and be together again.

"You know Rach, it never really seemed like you cared about our relationship," Ross revealed.

"What would make you think that?"

"The more I looked back on our crash, the more the way you treated me came to my attention. You mocked me. That was the last straw Rach. I'm tired of being treated like this," Ross said, firmly. He was ready to get his new revelations off his chest. They hurt him while he debated them in Monica's presence.

He had covered his true feelings long enough.

"Ross I was being stupid," Rachel pleaded. Ross held up a hand to tell her to stop.

"Rachel, please just listen to me. I think once this is out in the open you'll know how I feel. This is why I've been closing myself off. These emotions are overwhelming," Ross explained, firmly.

"Okay, I'm listening," Rachel affirmed, genuinely curious as to what Ross needed to say to her. Ross took a breath, collecting his thoughts. He didn't want to hold back, he wanted to tell her the truth and then she could decide how to react.

"It seems like it's always been me trying to be good enough for you. Look at all the years I loved you, ever since high school I practically worshipped you. And you never noticed me," Ross said, bringing painful memories to mind.

"Ross I'm sorry-," Rachel stopped when she saw Ross' gaze. He looked serious.

"I know you are now, but before it always seemed like you didn't care enough about our relationship to feel sorry. You might have cared for me when I was about to marry Emily, and I hope you cared about me when we were dating. But, you wanted me to take the blame for the break up when we know we both had a part in it. And the worst was probably when you dated Mark to get back at me, and never felt sorry that I was devastated.

"Sure, I'm not perfect, I made the huge mistake of sleeping with Chloe, I lied about annulling our marriage, and I was obsessive when we were dating. But at least I've shown that I'm sorry.

"For so long I would have done anything to make our relationship work, maybe it's time for you to show me how much you want to make this work," Ross ranted. Rachel sat frozen in place.

She could have argued with him, but she took a moment to think. What Ross said was true. Rachel kept her eyes on the floor as tears began to flood her vision.

"I-I have to go now," Rachel stuttered, trying to hide her tears by wiping them from her cheeks. She was completely overwhelmed, she needed to space herself from him and reflect on what he'd said.

Rachel got up off the couch briskly speed-walking to the door. Ross almost stopped her, but he knew it was best to let her go.

…..

Ross awakened on his couch; he'd been there all night after talking to Rachel. He sat up, stretching his stiff muscles and rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He stayed on the edge of his seat; he didn't want to move, not when the memory of his dreams still filled his mind.

Each dream had been about Rachel.

But he was shaken from his trance when a knock on his door almost gave him a heart attack.

"Ross, it's me," Monica's muffled voice called from beyond the door.

"It's open," Ross shouted back, sounding raspy. Monica opened the door, cautiously entering the apartment. Monica cringed; he looked just as bad as Rachel, confirming that their talk might really have been a step backwards.

"I wanted to make sure you were okay. Not just after last night, but also after the way we left things on my last visit," Monica said, she sat down beside Ross.

"I'm-I'm… I don't know," Ross admitted.

"Ross, I know things are hard right now, but this was a big step for you two – talking face to face," Monica explained, putting her hand on Ross' knee.

"Did she tell you about it?" Ross asked.

"No, she, uh, closed herself in her room. She said she needed to think a few things over," Monica explained, remembering Rachel's hollow expression when she returned.

"I told her I can't forgive her right now. I told her what I've been thinking," Ross stated simply. Monica was about to ask him to elaborate, but the unmistakable pain in Ross' body language made her realize now was not the time.

"Ross, you don't have to forgive her now. I only ask that you try and find a way to be in the same room as her. Our group is falling apart," Monica elaborated.

"I'll try Mon. I want you to tell them I'm sorry," Ross said, before tears filled his eyes. "Maybe it's best if you all give me time alone while I sorts out my feelings. I probably just hurt Rachel, I don't want to keep hurting people," Ross explained, tears streaming down his face.

"We're getting better Ross, we're recovering. I want to know how this is hurting _you_," Monica explained.

"It hurts Mon. I admitted to Rachel what I've discovered because of the accident, and it still hurts. I was using anger to try and hide the pain, but it only ended up hurting everyone else. I need time. I want to be better for your wedding, I want to be back to normal for my sister's special day," Ross stated, before the words were replaced by tears.

"Okay. It's okay. I want you to feel better, I want the old you back," Monica said, tears in her own eyes. "I won't ask what you told Rachel. I just hope, well, we all just hope, you two can sort this out. We're all hoping things will get better soon," Monica declared, looking Ross in the eyes.

She leaned in and hugged him tight. Ross hesitantly wrapped his arms around her in return.

"I'm going to try and move forward," Ross stated, his chin against Monica's shoulder.

"Take your time. I will be there for Rachel," Monica said, as they ended their hug. She soon noticed the time on her watch. "I want you to take care of yourself, I have to go to work now," Monica spoke softly. Ross nodded, and Monica stood.

Ross watched as she left. The click of the door closing behind her made his heart sink.

He had never felt so alone.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: I had some free time, so I decided to draw a cover picture for this story – it's very small here on Fanfiction but I just thought I'd mention it, I don't know. But now I'm thinking I should get out more often. **

**Anyway, ignore me, just enjoy the update. **

**Disclaimer: The characters from Friends do not belong to me.**

* * *

Rachel was on her knees beside the toilet, just having finished being sick. She tried her best to be as quiet as possible, which had turned out to be more difficult than she'd expected. Monica and Phoebe were right outside the door, sitting in the kitchen, and she didn't want them to know about her morning sickness.

Rachel tried to force her trembling legs to stand, the combination of being sick, lack of sleep, and horrendous anxiety had left her weak.

Ever since she talked to Ross, a few days ago, her mood had only gone downhill. She had believed she'd hit rock bottom before speaking to Ross, but she was sadly mistaken. She was more depressed now than she had been before.

She couldn't escape the words he'd spoken, the feelings he'd expressed. As she contemplated his opinions, she could feel herself slowly begin to unravel.

To make matters worse, today was her first day back to work. Monica had voiced her concern that Rachel needed more time at home. But Rachel had insisted she was tired of sitting around all day, alone with her thoughts.

Rachel managed to get to her feet and amble to the sink. She braced herself with a hand on either side of the basin. She wearily glanced up at her reflection in the mirror letting out a sigh, disheartened by her appearance.

Her skin was a sickly colour, only made more dreadful by the dark circles under her eyes. Her hair was a mess. Her skin glistened with sweat.

She filled her hands with cold water from the tap and splashed it on her face. She only had a few minutes to make herself presentable for work, so she hurried to attempt to look decent.

…..

Monica and Phoebe sat at the kitchen table, eating breakfast and drinking coffee. They both looked at each other with fright when they heard Rachel retching. The noises had stopped now, but Monica and Phoebe still shared worry-filled glances.

"This is the third morning in a row, Pheebs," Monica whispered, panic-stricken. "Do you think something's wrong, and she's not telling us?"

"I don't know. Maybe we should just ask her," Phoebe responded, with a shrug.

"She's been acting worse since talking to Ross. If it's something to do with that I don't want to upset her more," Monica explained, subconsciously shifting her concerned gaze to the bathroom.

"I guess you're right. But maybe we can help her," Phoebe voiced.

"I don't think-," Monica began, but Phoebe cut in.

"We've given her time, Mon. She's not getting any better. Ross isn't letting us in, I don't want to lose Rachel too," Phoebe confessed, her temper rising.

"I understand. But if this is about something Ross said, or something they discussed, I don't want to upset her more by making her talk about it," Monica argued again, in a quiet but firm voice.

"She can't deal with this on her own, and neither can Ross. Look at them Mon," Phoebe expressed, her voice intensifying as she motioned with her hands. "I thought when they talked to each other it would be the answer, but I think there's something more to this. Something they're not telling us."

"We all thought seeing them talk would be a good thing. But, you should have seen Ross when he told me he wanted to be left alone. They're both hurting; they both need to heal. If they're not coming to us maybe we should respect that," Monica explained, sadly looking at Phoebe.

Just then, Rachel came out of the bathroom, terminating their discussion. She looked similar to her normal self, except for the frown on her face.

"You okay Rach?" Phoebe asked. Monica glowered at Phoebe with daggers in her eyes.

"I, uh, must have caught the flu when I visited the doctor," Rachel quickly lied.

"I meant after talking to Ross," Phoebe corrected; Monica held her breath at Phoebe's boldness.

Rachel flinched when she heard Ross' name. She swallowed hard.

"Um, he's just brought up a few concerns. I'm sorry I've been acting so strange, I've just been thinking about what he said," Rachel admitted, looking at the floor. Phoebe was about to speak again, but Monica interjected.

"It's alright Rach. Have a good day at work," Monica said. Rachel peered at her watch noting that Monica was right.

"You're right, I should go. I'll talk to you later," Rachel stated. Monica and Phoebe both said goodbye.

When Rachel was out the door, Monica turned to Phoebe with an icy glare.

"I'm sorry Mon, I couldn't take it. Our group's been changed so much, I just want it back to normal," Phoebe admitted, dejectedly.

Monica thought about the group's reaction to the recent changes. It felt like they were on a roller coaster, riding the many ups and downs linked to Ross and Rachel. And just as the thought they were reaching the end of the ride, the track had plunged into another drop.

The mood of the four had started to improve, but, after Ross and Rachel's conversation, they felt terrible again. Except, now, they knew how to handle their feelings. They made an effort to talk, which was better than what they'd done before, when they avoided each other.

The next fear was the rapidly approaching wedding. Monica hoped that Rachel and Ross would be able to enjoy their time celebrating, instead of continuing on their paths of despair. She hoped this didn't turn into a yelling match between the best man and the maid of honor, or worse an awkward evening watching them ignore each other.

…..

Ross held his phone in his hand. He mustered up the courage to try to call again. He dialled the phone number he knew by heart. However, with each number he pressed his confidence slowly diminished until he gave up again, hitting the _END_ button.

He wanted to hear a familiar voice. He'd been trying to call Monica and Chandler, or even Joey, sometimes Phoebe too. But he didn't have the courage to talk to any of them.

He wondered what his friends were doing; he wondered what Rachel was doing. Though, thinking of the others only made him feel lonelier.

Ross was had never felt so isolated. His apartment was unnervingly silent. He realized how much he craved their presence.

However, he knew he'd only done this to himself. He'd told his friends to give him time to think.

Thinking is what he concentrated on. In fact, his mind wouldn't stop, day or night. No Discovery Channel program or National Geographic article could calm his racing thoughts.

Rachel was always at the centre of this dark abyss.

Her angelic face filled his vision every time he closed his eyes. Her voice echoed through his dreams. Their last encounter replayed in his thoughts as if he were watching a movie on an endless loop.

Had he been too hard on her?

Was he blowing this whole thing out of proportion?

These issues mattered to him. He knew he was being harsh, but he needed her to see how he truly felt. He had told her the truth, which, needless to say, was very difficult for him to do. He got it off his chest.

All those years of yearning for her in high school, hurt him. He remembered how it felt to cry himself to sleep, wishing she'd notice him, wishing he could show her how great he really was. He loved her for so long without anything in return, how was that fair?

There was always something about Rachel's personality that he needed to address. She treated him with a certain unfriendliness from time to time that made Ross cringe. Maybe she felt she could get away with it because she knew Ross would love her no matter what.

Ross knew it was true. He would always love Rachel. There was something about the two that made them perfect for each other. Their attributes balanced out their flaws. They had chemistry between them that couldn't be explained.

Even so, as much as Ross loved Rachel, he couldn't help but wonder if it was best for him to move on.

Ross couldn't get past the way Rachel had acted on the day of the accident. How she didn't listen to reason, how she carelessly put their lives in danger just to mock him. It just reminded him of the many other things in the past she'd done to spite him.

Ross wasn't trying to declare that he was the innocent victim in this situation. He had done many wrong things to her as well.

This was what made Ross wonder if it was best for both of them that they stay apart.

They could fix their friendship, with time, but maybe it wasn't smart to be in a relationship. They argued a lot, they were both stubborn, he was obsessive and jealous, she was sometimes uncaring.

On the other hand, they were passionate. They cared about each other, sometimes even when they weren't together. They had their moments of sweetness. They were lobsters, as Phoebe would say.

Ross agitatedly put his head in his hands. As if his own mind wanted to make this harder on him, Rachel's words replayed in his head.

_The truth is that, I miss you Ross. I miss how it used to be before this happened._

_I miss you Ross._

Rachel's voice had sounded so pained, so miserable. He had felt a ripple of guilt rack through his body when he had told her the truth, when he saw the tears in her eyes. But it needed to be done. It wouldn't be beneficial to him or Rachel to keep his realizations internalized.

Ross felt his own salty tears drop into his hands. He hadn't gotten any closer to making any choices, even while being alone for the past few days.

If it was possible, he felt like he was more confused than before.

It was strange how his feelings could practically change on a dime. One minute he felt happy he had told Rachel the truth, then the next he felt like he had done something horrible.

His mind was a torturous place to be trapped in.

It tormented him with images of the last time he'd been happy with Rachel. They had had one night of passionate love only weeks ago. Pleasurable memories still swirled through his thoughts. The way they had spontaneously and impatiently made love right in the middle of the living room still made Ross smile.

But it also made him sad; would they ever be in that place again?

It was like he was being pulled in two directions. One side urged him to fix things with Rachel, while the other urged him to move on.

There could only be one winner of this internal tug-of-war.

…..

Rachel sat at her desk, her assignment finished. Her boss hadn't given her much to do, determining that she should take it easy on her first day back.

Her mind began to wander. Her contemplations tried to break free from where she'd locked them in the back of her mind.

Rachel went over her morning, attempting to divert her thoughts from the obvious issues.

She shuddered as she remembered the shower of attention she had received upon arrival at her office. Many of her co-workers had expressed how glad they were she was alright, some had asked how she was doing, a few had even left a vase of flowers on her desk.

Rachel was pleased to escape them when she closed herself into her office.

Still being the morning, she suddenly felt a wave of nausea wash over her. She closed her eyes, leaning back in her chair, waiting for the feeling to pass.

She began to feel a little better after a few minutes. She carefully stood up and walked over to grab her purse, which sat upon a chair in her office. She wondered if she had any medication that might help.

Rachel began to search within the inside pockets of the bag when she came across a very familiar square of paper.

Amidst the black, grey and white she could still pick out the little silhouette of her baby. It brought tears to her eyes. She absentmindedly put her purse back down, disregarding the reason for searching it in the first place. She took the picture with her as she returned to her desk chair.

Wasn't it most women's dream to fall in love, get married, and have children? It certainly was Rachel's dream, a dream that had changed very rapidly with this unexpected surprise.

Not once had she ever considered having an abortion. She would deal with this, just as she would attempt to deal with her relationship with Ross.

She needed to tell him. She wanted him to know about his child. But this was a delicate matter that needed to be dealt with properly.

Ross was obviously hurt, and clearly angry. Bringing the baby to his attention, at this point, would do more harm than good.

Rachel couldn't do that to him, she couldn't give him something else to think about.

He was obviously waist deep thinking about their past.

Rachel knew what telling him about this baby could lead to. Ross would feel inclined to start a relationship with her. A relationship he clearly did not want to be in at the moment. Not before they solved their problems. He obviously wanted to settle these issues before he could build any type of relationship with her.

Rachel knew she had to do this right. There was a lot at stake, their future happiness included.

This baby deserved to have a mother and father who cared about each other. Rachel knew how it felt to grow up with parents that didn't enjoy each other's company; she swore she wouldn't put her own children through that.

She would tell Ross about the baby when things returned to normal. However, the goal of everything returning to normal had never felt so far off.

Rachel desperately wanted to find a solution to all the problems that had suddenly come into her life. It felt as if each new day brought her closer to spiraling out of control.

Maybe if she hadn't been so quick to talk to Ross she wouldn't feel this way. It hurt to see him, and then have to be apart once more.

But, then again, she wouldn't have known what his true thoughts were.

These were issues she had to fix. It was not evident how she would fix them, but if she ever wanted a relationship with Ross again, it was her only choice.

They could be a family.

And even if they never became a family, even if Ross couldn't ever find a way to love her again, she still needed to fix this. She at least wanted his friendship back.

She wanted the group to be able to stay friends. As Phoebe had once mentioned, after she and Ross broke up, if they couldn't find a way to at least be around each other, it would be the end of them all hanging out.

Rachel didn't want to be upset any longer, she didn't want to see Ross suffer as well. Plus, it wasn't fair for their friends to have to go through their ups and downs with them.

She wanted Ross' scowl of pain and the hollowness in his gaze, to disappear. She longed for his cheerful smile to grace her eyes once again. She wanted the light to chase the darkness from his soft, brown eyes.

The only way that was possible was to resolve her mistakes.

Every word Ross had said had hit her hard. Rachel remembered each point he'd mentioned all too clearly.

_Well, you never forgave me for sleeping with Chloe_

She felt her heart sink, thinking about their break up. It was all caused by a big misunderstanding, and yet she still didn't know if she could forgive him. He'd slept with someone else. His lips touched her lips, his skin touched her skin, he was inside her.

It happened so long ago, and yet it was still so revolting, so repulsive for Rachel to imagine. Would she be able to put it behind her?

Then segments of his confessions began to echo through her mind. Ross' voice filled her ears, filled her heart.

_It never really seemed like you cared about our relationship_

_I'm tired of being treated like this_

_It always seemed like you didn't care enough about our relationship to feel sorry_

Each of his words had felt like a knife piercing her skin. Each cut deeper than the next, torturing her with pain.

He had actually questioned that she ever cared about their relationship? Had she really treated him so bad that she made these thoughts cross his mind?

How could she not have seen it? How could she not have known how he felt, after all this time?

_I practically worshipped you. And you never noticed me_

It had started in high school. How could she have been so blind? He was always so caring, always so generous. She realized what she had missed out on, when they had begun dating.

_You wanted me to take the blame for the break up when we know we both had a part in it_

It was true. They were both at fault.

Ross had been possessive. She hadn't made an effort to reassure him that nothing was going on with Mark. She had suggested the break; he left in a huff without speaking to her. She had let Mark come over, leading Ross to make assumptions. But he had taken it too far when he slept with Chloe.

The break up was both their fault and yet she blamed it all on him. Of course sleeping with someone else could not be justified because of a misunderstanding. Likewise, the break up could not be justified because Ross had slept with her. There were so many more factors that led up to that point of collapse.

They had lost the best relationship they'd ever been in, all because of foolish mistakes they'd both made.

_You dated Mark to get back at me, and never felt sorry that I was devastated_

Rachel didn't know where that memory came from, but it stung like salt in a wound.

It made her think that maybe Ross was better off without her. Maybe she didn't deserve someone as great as him.

It was true that she hadn't shown she was sorry. It was true that she treated him like he wasn't good enough for her. In return Ross had still chased her, still he wanted to be together.

Right when Rachel was about to give up on ever trying to get back together with Ross, a memory crossed her mind.

_For so long I would have done anything to make our relationship work, maybe it's time for you to show me how much you want to make this work_

Rachel knew that was what she had to do. That was his message to her. He had spent all his life wanting her, waiting for her, now it was her turn to show him she cared.

As quick as Rachel's moment of epiphany came, it vanished when a knock on the door startled her out of her thoughts.

"Come in," Rachel called in a shaky voice. Her boss, Mr. Zelner, emerged from the door. Her eyes widened in horror when she noticed the ultrasound picture that still lay on her desk. She hastily grabbed it and tucked it under some papers.

"Rachel I have a task I need you to – oh, um, Rachel are you okay?" Mr. Zelner's tone changed from demanding to gentle. Rachel suddenly became aware that she had been crying. She could feel her tears glide off her cheeks to drop onto the desk in front of her.

"Oh, yeah, I'm okay. I'm sorry, I was just… thinking. So, what was it you needed me to do?" Rachel said, promptly wiping the tears from beneath her eyes.

"I was going to get you to do something, but how about you take an early lunch and do it when you get back," Mr. Zelner suggested, uncomfortably shifting as he stood in front of Rachel's desk.

"Really, I'm fine. Please, just tell me what you need me to do," Rachel stated. Mr. Zelner was reluctant at first, but seeing Rachel begin to look better, he explained her task. He then departed, leaving Rachel to work.

As soon as Rachel herd the door shut, she got up to return the picture to her purse.

She looked at it one final time, wordlessly promising that she would fix this entire problem with Ross.

This baby deserved a family.


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Enjoy the chapter.**

**Disclaimer: The characters from Friends do not belong to me.**

* * *

The wedding had abruptly emerged from the darkness.

Of course, Monica had been planning it for months, but after Ross and Rachel were in the accident all the planning was put on a back burner. Monica couldn't focus all her attention on the wedding while her best friend and brother were in such turmoil.

It was the wedding that took centre stage once more. It was already the night before the big day.

Monica's obsessive methods were in full swing, as she checked items off her list, making sure every last detail was perfect.

Everything would fall into place, considering this was Monica's strong suit: being organized.

But, on a night where the lone reason for her nerves should be getting married, another worry was manifesting. Her maid of honor was Rachel; Chandler's best man was Ross.

They were two of the most important people in her and Chandler's life. And at this point in time they were very unpredictable.

Would they act in a civilized manner? Or would they spend the day sulking?

Would they look depressed in every photo? Could they enjoy themselves along with their friends?

This car accident had the worst timing. Monica knew, in the future, they would look back on their wedding and always be able to associate it with the accident. There was no escaping it; this catastrophe would leave a lasting imprint on what was meant to be a cheerful time.

The group had been changed so unexpectedly. They had been through so much heartache, and now they were expected to rise to the occasion and be happy.

With all the chaos consuming their lives, she only hoped they could leave it all behind for the time being, and revel in this monumental day.

That being said, she knew this incident wouldn't stop her from enjoying herself. It was time for her to stop focusing all her attention on Ross and Rachel, and just enjoy being a bride. This day would only happen once.

There was a time to be disheartened and concerned. But now it was time to be happy. It might be beneficial to the group after dealing with such misery.

Monica sat at her kitchen table, her wedding binder open in front of her. The flowers were ordered, the dress was fitted, the venue was arranged, and the list went on. There was nothing more she could do.

Her time alone was cut short by Phoebe entering the apartment.

"I'm here. Let's start our girls' night!" Phoebe exclaimed, prancing through the door with an ear-to-ear grin.

Monica and Chandler had agreed to spend the night apart. Chandler would stay with Joey, while Phoebe came over to spend the night with Monica and Rachel.

"Rachel?" Monica called, knowing Rachel was just in her room. Rachel soon entered the living room. "Phoebe's here, are you going to join us?" Monica asked, softly.

"Of course I will," Rachel responded, the tension in her features relaxing into a ghost of a smile.

Monica almost sighed with relief. It seemed like Rachel was starting off on the right foot. She seemed to co-operate, Monica just hoped she wouldn't sink back into her despair, as the evening continued.

…..

Joey and Chandler sat in the Barcaloungers, just like old times. However, for the first time, the two friends were situated in awkward silence. They had rapidly become lost for words; a testament to how much emotional impact the recent events were causing.

"Do you think Ross is alright on his own?" Joey asked, cautiously approaching the sensitive topic. Joey frequently wore his heart on his sleeve; his feelings were easily decipherable based on the concerned slant of his eyebrows.

Recently, the group had been chatting in Central Perk. The wedding was the topic taking prominence in all their minds. But eventually the conversation naturally returned to Ross and Rachel. Chandler bravely conveyed how disconnected he felt from Ross.

In the past, Ross would come to him to talk; they trusted each other, after having known one another since college. Chandler didn't understand why Ross had chosen to be alone. He respected his wishes, but he felt wounded while doing so.

Couldn't he be any help? Couldn't they get through this all together, as a group?

Chandler wanted to give Ross space, but wondered if the gap in their friendship would ever be bridged.

"I honestly don't know, Joe," Chandler admitted, with a sigh, uneasily ruffling a hand through his hair.

"I miss him," Joey confessed. "I know it's only been a little while, but I wish he was here again, boring us about dinosaurs or-or just spending time with us," Joey explained impatiently, he shifted his eyes off Chandler's face, worrying about how he'd react.

Joey simply couldn't shake the feeling that something was missing, or someone to be exact. Ross wasn't here with them to celebrate.

"I know. I miss him too. But I miss the old Ross, not this stranger he's become," Chandler spoke bitterly. "He doesn't want to see us."

"He's missing this, Chandler," Joey said. "He's not included in this wedding anymore?"

Chandler marveled at the insightful point Joey was making. He couldn't believe how quickly Joey could change his attitude with such few words.

It was true, Ross should be with them. He was their friend whether he was in high spirits or surrendering to despondency, they shouldn't leave him out.

"Come on," Chandler stated, before abruptly folding his footrest to stand up.

…..

Chandler knocked on the door for the third time. He knew it was a long shot to think Ross would actually welcome them into his apartment with open arms. But he had prepared for an event such as this.

Joey watched as Chandler smugly pulled a key from his pocket. He swiftly turned it in the lock.

The two crept into Ross' apartment. It was eerily dark; Ross' curtains were drawn preventing any light from permeating. There were a few books here and there, but otherwise it was decently maintained.

Just when they thought Ross was asleep, his voice cut through the stillness like a knife through butter.

"What are you doing here?" Ross asked, with surprise. Suddenly the living room was flooded with light as Ross entered, flicking on a light switch as he did so.

"It's Chandler's last night as a single man and instead of going to a strip club we want to just enjoy it together," Joey explained, surprised to find confidence hidden beneath his apprehension.

"You don't have to do this," Ross said with shame, though he secretly hoped they wouldn't leave. The loneliness was becoming overwhelming.

"We're staying right here Ross," Chandler stated.

"But, I told you all to stay away?" Ross questioned their willingness to see him.

"Doesn't mean we're going to listen," Chandler commented. Ross readily gave up on keeping his friends away.

"Let's celebrate then," Joey stated. "I brought champagne, so I'll grab some glasses," Joey declared, holding out the bottle of champagne for his friends to see. Then he made his way to the kitchen.

With that, Chandler and Ross took a seat in Ross' living room.

"So, um, what are the girls doing?" Ross asked hesitantly. He was discreetly attempting to find out about Rachel. He wanted to move on, forget about starting up a relationship again, forget about the pain he felt over her. But, seeing his friends made him think about Rachel, hark back to the friendship they had so abruptly gone astray from.

"Phoebe is staying over to spend the night with Monica and Rachel," Chandler explained, trying to gauge Ross' reaction to hearing about Rachel.

Before long, Joey returned with three glasses. He promptly uncorked the bottle, before joining the conversation once more.

"What the happened between you and Rachel?" Joey asked, carefully. It had been a question eating at him for so long; he couldn't stop the words from rolling off his tongue. He desperately wanted to understand this situation, understand why Ross spent his days separated from them.

Ross was taken aback by Joey's boldness. Joey waited for a response as he carefully poured the champagne, avoiding eye contact at all cost. It was still silent by the time he handed out the glasses.

Ross internally debated whether or not to explain himself. He really had left his friends in the dark this entire time. If only they could see this situation through his eyes.

"I explained to her how the accident is not all I'm angry about. It brought to mind how she's hurt me throughout the years. I've been wounded by her countless times," Ross explained, as sadness washed over him.

"That's not a good reason Ross, you're hurting her. Nothing about this relationship comes easy," Joey stated.

"That's the problem. I don't know if I want to be 'Ross and Rachel' again. I think we should move on and stop hurting each other," Ross revealed, although he was still trying to convince himself this was the right choice. Revealing the truth stung like slowly peeling off a Band-Aid to expose the wound beneath its protection.

"Really? You don't ever want to be in a relationship with her again?" Joey asked, straining to wrap his mind around the idea. Ross and Rachel had always seemed like the perfect match, he strived to find a relationship like theirs someday.

"I don't know… If we got together again, and it didn't work out again… It'd just be more pain to deal with…" Ross tried to conjure up the words to explain his motives.

"Listen, I'm sorry I brought it up. That's not what we're here for. We have to lighten up," Joey declared, fed up with the sadness.

"Okay," Ross responded. Joey was right; it was time to stop sulking.

"Let's have a toast," Joey suggested, changing the topic. He raised his glass of champagne; the other men joined him without delay. "Chandler; congratulations on the wedding, we've never seen you happier. We wish you all the best. Good luck."

Chandler smiled at Joey before the clinking of their glasses filled the room.

…..

The conversation was becoming less awkward as the three women sat around Monica and Chandler's kitchen table. Rachel had found it within herself to stop moping. She wanted Monica to have a good time, so she kept any negative emotions internalized.

The three excitedly chatted about the upcoming wedding. Rachel felt the excitement in the air influence her mood. She could have sworn the atmosphere was cheering her up slightly.

"How does it feel to know this is the last night you'll be single?" Phoebe asked Monica, with a smile playing around the corners of her mouth.

"I can't wait for tomorrow, Pheebs," Monica said with a smile that reached her eyes.

"Really? Because it's not too late to back out," Phoebe stated, jokingly. Monica laughed at Phoebe's familiar boldness. And for the first time in a long time, Rachel joined them, laughing as well.

However, as much as she wanted to concentrate on this girls' night, in the back of her mind she worried about the wedding.

She worried, specifically, about seeing Ross. How would they handle being around each other? Would they mention their last encounter? She really was stepping into the unknown.

The prospect that scared her most was telling him about the baby. Was Monica's wedding the best place to do so? She didn't want to have to go to his apartment again. The idea of visiting him again, being back in that building, made her feel uneasy after what happened there the last time.

Rachel must have started to look troubled, because she was soon pulled from her daze by Monica's concerned voice.

"Rach? You okay?" Monica asked, gently touching Rachel's arm.

"Yeah I am. Sorry. What were we talking about?" Rachel said, shifting her eyes between Monica and Phoebe.

"I said, we should drink some champagne or something, to celebrate," Phoebe stated.

Rachel instantly began to sweat, feeling completely trapped. How could she reject champagne? There was no doubt her friends would question her. She couldn't think of an excuse as to why she didn't want a drink.

Would she have to admit she was pregnant?

Monica got up and searched around her kitchen. Rachel panic increased with each passing second.

"Dammit. I think Chandler took the only bottle we had," Monica stated disappointedly, as she stood up from rummaging through a lower cabinet.

Rachel stifled a sigh of relief. Her secret would be kept from Monica and Phoebe a while longer.

However, this scare made her realize what a difficult secret this would be to keep. She didn't want to have to cover this up for much longer. She concluded she needed to tell Ross as soon as she could. Then she would be able to tell her friends, and it would all be out in the open.

…..

Chandler stood in front of the floor-length mirror in the back room of the ceremony venue; they still had about a half hour until it all began. He could see Ross and Joey in the mirror's reflection. Ross sat in a chair straightening his tie as Joey went over his notes, preparing to officiate the wedding.

"I'm going to go… check on the guests before showtime," Joey said, with a glint of excitement and giddiness in his eye as he exited the room. Chandler and Ross both knew Joey really meant he would be taking this opportunity to hit on a few women.

The room was quiet. The only sound came from the muffled voices of guests passing by the door. Chandler turned his back to the mirror to face Ross; he noticed the crutches leaning against the arm of his chair.

"I can't believe Monica's going to let you walk down the aisle with crutches," Chandler commented sarcastically to Ross, knowing Monica's obsession with flawlessness.

"No, actually I got this," Ross stated before reaching beside his chair. He smiled as he showed Chandler a walking cast that could be strapped on, over his fiberglass cast. Chandler grinned back at him; he enjoyed the fact that Ross was smiling more often.

"Thank you," Chandler said. He didn't know where it came from. Maybe it was purely because Ross being able to walk down the aisle would make Monica happy. But, maybe it was because Ross was here, being mature by putting aside his problems.

"You're thanking me? I'm the one who should be thanking you. The fact that you still want me here, as your best man, after how I've been treating everyone… it means a lot," Ross explained, looking down at his hands so the tears in his eyes weren't noticeable.

"Ross, just because you've been dealing with this accident, wanting to be alone, doesn't mean you're not my friend anymore," Chandler reasoned, sounding extremely honest.

"But you must have been angry, I just blocked everyone out," Ross disclosed. The mood in the small room had changed from joyful to serious in this short span of time.

"Let's just forget about it, at least for today. Try to enjoy yourself," Chandler stated.

"I'll try," Ross affirmed, sombrely nodding his head.

…..

The women got ready at Monica and Chandler's apartment. The calm atmosphere the men were feeling was not at all what the women were experiencing. It was a jumble of finishing the application of make-up and styling hair, all the while staying on Monica's precise schedule.

Rachel could feel the morning sickness stirring within her. She had to try very hard not to run to the bathroom to be sick. Monica's mother was here, Chandler's mom and dad had recently arrived as well. There was no way to hide throwing up when the apartment was buzzing with onlookers.

"You okay Rach?" Phoebe whispered to Rachel, sounding alarmed. Phoebe had noticed Rachel's withdrawn behaviour from across the room. Now that she was closer she noticed Rachel's skin was pale and clammy.

"I'm okay," Rachel answered. She was very unconvincing since nothing about her was okay. She felt nauseated, not only from the morning sickness but also because she had decided to talk to Ross again.

At the reception she'd take him aside and tell him the truth.

"Is this about Ross?" Phoebe asked, speaking her mind without a moment of hesitation.

"Let's just focus on Monica's wedding for now," Rachel snapped, mood swings possibly playing a role in her attitude. Phoebe was about to respond but dropped the subject when she realized Rachel was right.

Suddenly, the chaos ground to a halt as Monica entered the living room from her bedroom. Everyone was left speechless as they admired the beautiful bride. The dress hugged her body as if it was made for her; the elegant vale framed her face highlighting her rich, brown hair.

With tear filled eyes, everyone approached her for a closer look. Compliments flooded Monica's ears, giving her a warm feeling that radiated through her body. The fact that she was actually getting married started to hit her.

Before long, it was time to leave in order to get to the venue on time.

They all proceeded to carefully exit the apartment. A limousine was parked in front of the building, waiting to take them to their destination.

…..

It was almost time for the wedding to begin.

Monica had instructed everyone to line up in order, behind the doors to the ceremony space. Then she retreated to the back room. She didn't want to risk Chandler seeing her in her dress.

It was decided that Rachel would walk with Ross, since they were maid of honor and best man. Joey lined up behind the doors first, since he was officiating. Chandler would be second, Phoebe third, and then Ross and Rachel.

Rachel waited in her spot for Ross to join her, nervously scanning the room for him.

She froze when her gaze met a very familiar pair of chocolate brown eyes.


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: I'll be up at my cottage for the next week. Just letting you know so when I don't update for a bit it won't be a shock. As always, I'll update as soon as I get back. **

**It's my birthday while I'm away; can I get some reviews as a birthday present? ;D**

**Enjoy the chapter. **

**Disclaimer: The characters from Friends do not belong to me.**

* * *

"You may now kiss the bride," Joey announced, his face brightening into an ecstatic expression.

Both Chandler and Monica were beaming before they leaned in to share their first kiss as husband and wife. Chandler kept her in his arms, after they parted. They gazed into each other's eyes, savouring the moment.

A building roar of applause filled the room.

Phoebe applauded, joining Joey in his enthusiastic celebration. Rachel wiped tears from beneath her eyes, before calmly clapping. Then she carefully peered past the couple to catch a glimpse of Ross.

Her breath caught in her throat when she found that his eyes were already on her. He shyly held her gaze, before awkwardly looking elsewhere. Rachel smiled to herself; she swore her heart could have stopped.

She recalled their encounter before entering through the double doors. He had approached her, meekly focusing on the floor. When he took his place, standing beside her, Rachel could feel his rigidity intermingling with her own.

He stood with his weight on his good foot, staring straight ahead. However, Rachel couldn't stop glancing sideways at him. She viewed him differently, now. He was no longer just a friend, or just an ex-boyfriend, he was the father of her child.

She admired how great he looked in his suit, such an improvement since the last time she'd seen him wearing a dingy t-shirt and track pants. His perfectly gelled hair was his pièce de résistance, Rachel marvelled at how it always seemed to pull his appearance together.

Little did she know, Ross was also in awe at her appearance. The light-green, floral dress that hugged her curves, her hair elegantly swept into a bun away from her captivating blue eyes. It had been a long time since he'd seen her and everything about her was more beautiful than he remembered.

Before a word was passed between them, the doors swung open revealing the sea of guests and the elegantly decorated room. Ross held out his arm to Rachel with a timid smile, much like the one he wore in the present. Rachel had laced her arm through his as they waited for their turn to walk down the aisle.

Both their postures exuded tension, as they paced each step to the music. However, the fact that they were together again felt comfortingly familiar, instead of awkward. It had been a while since they had shared such a peaceful moment.

For a fleeting second Rachel could picture her goal becoming obtainable. She could imagine Ross accepting her offer to talk. The possibility of mending ties with him felt like it was in reach. He wasn't furiously ignoring her, nor was he looking angry. He just gave a shy impression.

It seemed possible that the storm had finally blown over, leaving them in a calm place where they could recover their relationship.

…..

Ross and Joey relaxed at their table, happily observing Monica and Chandler as they cheerfully mingled with their guests. Dinner was finished, now the rest of the night was dedicated to chatting with others and dancing the night away.

The upbeat vibe filling the reception hall was enough to influence anyone's frame of mind. That was exactly what it did for Ross, making him feel invigorated.

"They really do look happy, don't they?" Ross commented to Joey, knowing it was a rhetorical question. They proudly watched Chandler kiss Monica, after sweetly whispering something in her ear.

"They do," Joey stated nostalgically. After a brief pause he turned to Ross. "You want to get out there?" Joey suggested, gesturing to the dance floor.

"I'm alright. Go ahead without me," Ross decided.

"No, you're coming with me," Joey stated, standing up, encouraging Ross to join him. Ross reluctantly gave in, surprising himself with his willingness to participate. He really must have been feeling better. Maybe this wedding was all he needed to lift his spirits.

His moment of exultance was short-lived as he observed all the people around him. It wasn't long before Joey had a woman to talk to, Monica and Chandler were dancing. He started to fall back into the depths of loneliness.

Chandler and Monica should have been an influence. Seeing them on cloud nine whenever they were together, it was something to strive for. Ross wanted that happiness; he was tired of being alone.

A resonating thought echoed through his mind, now it became fuel to his fire.

_I think we should move on and stop hurting each other_

Ross had said it himself, while talking to Chandler and Joey. It was time to move on from Rachel, so they could stop breaking each other's heart. He had taken it all too far, getting so angry at Rachel. It came down to the disappointment he felt whenever his and Rachel's relationship didn't work out. That feeling stuck with him, more than it did before.

Burning disappointment. Crippling sadness and depression. They both felt it, each time they came within inches of being together, or when they fell apart.

He had made mistakes; Rachel had made mistakes. Ross had over-reacted.

Perhaps it was too hard to recover from.

Their friendship would undoubtedly be fixed, with time. But, was it time to just forget about a relationship?

…..

Rachel and Phoebe chatted with Judy and Jack Geller, next to the dance floor. They were beaming with delight as they shared how proud they were of Monica and Chandler.

"Ah, speak of the devil," Jack commented as the newlyweds approached, Chandler's arm around Monica.

"Chandler, I noticed you're no slouch on the dance floor," Judy remarked animatedly, after having watched a dance between Monica and Chandler. Chandler chuckled as Monica gazed at him, Rachel and Phoebe watched the cute exchange between the couple.

"I'm going to the restroom. Why don't you dance with your mother-in-law, Chandler?" Jack suggested, placing a hand on Chandler's shoulder.

"Yeah, alright," Chandler agreed casually, hiding nerves beneath his calm facade.

In the blink of an eye the three women were left alone, as Jack departed and Chandler escorted Judy to the dance floor.

But, there was little time to chat before they were interrupted by a waiter.

"Can I offer anyone a drink?" The waiter asked, holding out a tray filled with glasses of champagne.

Both Monica and Phoebe gave a positive response before taking a glass off the tray.

"None for me thanks," Rachel responded, barely above a whisper. Rachel could instantly feel both women's puzzled stares boring into her. The waiter moved on to serve another group.

"Rach, are you okay?" Phoebe asked, remembering how ill she appeared to be that morning. She and Monica noticed Rachel's eyes begin to shift nervously.

"Yeah. I-I just don't feel like drinking," Rachel answered, a little too fast to be convincing.

Phoebe received an unusual vibe from Rachel. Something made her believe she was lying, not only about drinking but about the reason for being sick. Phoebe may have been reading into it too much, but it all added up. Rachel wasn't drinking, she'd been throwing up every _morning_, and there was just a certain vibe radiating off of her.

Phoebe didn't stop to think, she decided to confront Rachel about her suspicion.

"Rachel," Phoebe said, causing Rachel's guilty eyes to rest upon her. "Are you pregnant?" Phoebe asked bluntly, without hesitation. Monica locked her questioning gaze on Rachel as well, as they waited a few seconds for her answer.

She had been caught. Rachel sighed, uneasily beginning to feel shaky. She didn't want to hide this secret any longer; she searched her mind for another excuse, only to come up empty handed. She gave in; they had to find out sooner or later.

"Yes," Rachel admitted, softly.

Monica put a hand to her mouth in shock, she assumed something was wrong with Rachel but this did not cross her mind as a possibility.

"I knew it," Phoebe commented, smugly.

"How'd you guess?" Rachel asked Phoebe, sheepishly. Her heart pounded hard in her chest as she watched her friends' expressions.

"Well, you've been throwing up every morning, you're not drinking, you've been moody. I've been pregnant before, I just had a feeling," Phoebe explained.

"Who's the father?" Monica blurted out, her voice still filled with shock as she tried to wrap her head around this news.

"It's Ross," Rachel admitted, squeezing her eyes shut, bracing herself for their reaction.

"Oh my God," Phoebe and Monica commented in unison.

"But, I haven't told him yet, so please keep it a secret," Rachel pleaded desperately.

"Okay," Phoebe answered, spiritedly enjoying the fact that only she and Monica knew this secret. Monica briefly scanned the dance floor, noticing Ross. He was taking a seat at his table, looking tired after being on the dance floor.

"Ross is sitting over there, alone. Why don't you talk to him now?" Monica suggested. She gestured to draw Rachel's attention to Ross.

"I just don't want this to end up like our last talk. It'll wreck your wedding," Rachel confessed. She knew she needed to tell him, but the confidence she had built up slowly slipped from her grasp, as the moment of truth approached.

"It'll be fine Rach," Monica reassured, stroking Rachel's arm supportively. She figured this news might bring Ross and Rachel closer. Excitement burned in her stomach as she imagined the group coming together because of this.

Rachel walked around the perimeter of the dance floor. Her heart pounded fast, her stomach filled with a thousand fluttering butterflies, as she came within feet of Ross' table. She felt sick, and excited, and worried all at the same time.

"Ross?" Rachel addressed, trying to be heard over the music.

Ross turned around hastily. He thought it was a figment of his imagination that that familiar voice would be calling him. But, there Rachel stood, looking very nervous.

"Could I speak with you? In private," Rachel expressed, as soon as Ross' eyes met hers.

"Um, I don't know if that's a good idea," Ross admitted, carefully choosing his words so he wouldn't hurt her feelings.

"It's important. And I never see you, so I can't do this any other time," Rachel argued, finding confidence and strength.

"I guess you're right," Ross answered. Then he carefully stood up, ready to follow Rachel.

…..

Rachel led Ross through the reception hall's wide double doors, into the lobby of the venue. The room was deserted, only the sound of Rachel's heels against the tile floor echoed through the space.

Rachel stopped, turning to face Ross. She looked into his brown eyes, which were filled with a mixture of curiosity and fear.

Ross waited for Rachel to speak, just watching her. He noticed that she stirred something from deep within him; she always had a way of stimulating these feelings, even when he tried keeping them hidden away.

"Ross, I can't handle this anymore, this anger thing. I'm sorry I hurt you so much in the past. But I really want to fix this," Rachel pleaded. It just flowed from her when she saw him, when she had his undivided attention.

"I was thinking that maybe I was too harsh. Sure, some of these things hurt me, but I took it too far. I'm the one who should be sorry," Ross admitted. Rachel's eyes filled with tears. She had been preparing herself for the worst, and yet it was starting to go better than she had expected.

Ross had a moment of confusing thoughts. He was second guessing himself. Maybe it wasn't the right choice to move on. This was going so well, perhaps they could make it work. On the other hand, things with them often changed on a dime. They could easily hurt each other again, and be right back to heartbreaking depression.

Ross' internal tug-of-war still did not have a winning side.

Rachel could feel their relationship mending, even in the short time they had been talking. She didn't know what this feeling was in the pit of her stomach. There was a spark between them, a sensation she missed having course through every fibre of her being. It told her that she didn't want to settle for a friendship, she wanted something more with Ross.

She didn't know how to do this. Should she just blurt out the truth or wait a minute to make sure their relationship could handle it. They could keep talking; sort it out as best as possible, then she could break it too him.

"You look beautiful," Ross let slip. He wanted to keep it in his thoughts but he couldn't prevent it from rolling off his tongue. Rachel blushed at his shy comment.

"You don't look too bad yourself," Rachel said, flashing a playful smile. But her face slowly returned to looking nervous. Ross promptly noticed.

"Was that the important thing you had to talk to me about?" Ross asked.

"No, that's not all," Rachel stated, before letting out her next sentence in a rush. "Do you remember that night we spent together a few weeks ago?"

"Of course I do," Ross answered, wondering what she was getting at. Rachel knew this was it, the moment she would change Ross' life forever. She took a deep breath, but just as she opened her mouth a woman entered from the wedding reception.

"Ross?" The woman called. Ross was so engrossed in what Rachel was going to say, it took a second for him to break free of the fog, to look over his shoulder. The woman approached without hesitation.

"Oh, uh, Rachel this is Mona. Mona, my friend Rachel," Ross introduced the women. Rachel forced a friendly smile, but on the inside her heart sank, and she instantly felt cold.

"I hope I'm not interrupting," Mona said, as she shook Rachel's hand.

"W-what are you doing here?" Ross sputtered, nervously. He could feel Rachel's disappointment filling the air between them.

"You still owe me a dance," Mona stated, smoothly, giving Ross a pouting stare.

Ross glanced at Rachel, an apologetic expression in his eyes. Rachel didn't want to reveal her sadness as she kept her eyes downturned.

"I'll talk to you later," Rachel said, unenthusiastically. Mona took Ross' hand to lead him back into the reception area.

Rachel couldn't look away as they reached the wooden dance floor. She watched as Mona pulled herself close to Ross. He placed his hands on her waist as she wrapped hers around the back of his neck.

Rachel leaned against the wall beside her. She took one last look at Ross and Mona, who seemed to be enjoying themselves. Then she slid her back down the wall until she sat on the cool tile floor.

Tears rolled down her cheeks as she silently cried with disappointment, with frustration.

That was her chance. That was her moment to tell him. Now it was gone. Why did she have to take so long to get around to telling him? Now she would have to wait again, with the burden of the secret weighing on her shoulders.

Rachel couldn't stop her swirling thoughts as they dragged her down beneath the waves.

Had Ross moved on?

What would happen now? How would she talk to him again?

What if Ross didn't want anything to do with her? Her baby would never have a true family. It left her with a hollow feeling, reminding her of her own parents who barely talked to each other.

She had never been this scared. Not when she left Barry, not when she set out to find Monica and start a new life, not when she found out she was pregnant.

Rachel felt so alone.


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: I'm back. Thank you for the reviews. **

**Look out for the one-shot I'll be posting tomorrow. :D**

**Please enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: The characters from Friends do not belong to me.**

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Ross was having a great time dancing with Mona. He could see himself succeeding in pushing all his feelings, all his thoughts, aside to only concentrate on her. His mind had been swamped with deliberations or thoughts to consider.

He was tired of taking two steps forward and a stumbling step backwards.

His first step forward was asking Mona to dance, and then possibly he could muster up the courage to ask her out. The other step forward was talking to Rachel, apologising for his rude behaviour. With that being said, he still had a decision on his hands. It gnawed at him; it was the pounding is his head, the bitter taste in his mouth – a step backwards just waiting to burst forth.

He looked down at Mona. When their eyes met she smiled shyly, and Ross felt some form of comfort in her gaze. It was as if her warmth chased away his pain.

Ross decided he should give Mona a chance. It was easy to see clearly when he had her at his side. But, most of all, he wasn't lonely when he was with her.

He remembered when he met Mona, only a short time ago. He had approached her with a new found confidence. Maybe this confidence flourished as he watched Joey's flawless methods of hitting on women, although, it was his previous thoughts that also aided his poise.

He believed it, that after all these years he could move on from Rachel.

Ross had jumped off the high dive, without hesitation, he had started talking to Mona. Of course he wasn't the best at flirting, in fact this new confidence did nothing to improve his ability, but luckily Mona was the type that found his awkwardness cute, even endearing.

Mona was sweet, she was attractive, and above all, she seemed to like him. Yet, Ross couldn't get Rachel out of his head, now, more than before.

Would he ever be able to get her off his mind?

It was almost an obsession, thinking about Rachel so often. Again, his thoughts reverted back to her. He knew he'd hurt her, it clung to his conscience. Ross finally knew that he could forgive her, whether that revelation came to him on his own or while he was with Mona. Now he hoped that she could forgive him.

He just wanted to be her friend once more.

But was that all he wanted to be? Just Rachel's friend?

Here he was, dancing with Mona, making a healthy choice by moving on. But, Rachel was forever engraved on his heart, like lovers' initials carved into an old oak tree.

He was caught between moving on with Mona and returning to Rachel.

He cast his eyes across the dance floor, watching the many couples swirl around them. Then his eyes fixated on the doorway to the reception hall. He continued to dance, yet his heart stood still. Rachel entered the hall, her eyes downcast, her face furrowed into a frown.

Here they were, in the same room, right in front of him. Mona: the woman within his arms, ultimately being the easier choice. Or Rachel: just across the room, would it be too difficult to return to her?

A relationship between Rachel and him could end very badly. It would be different this time, compared to times in the past, there was a lot more out in the open. A lot had happened, there were many hurdles to overcome, maybe too many.

A reverie brought him to revisit the most recent moment he'd spent with Rachel. It was a meeting that practically erased the last conversation from his memory. He felt like they had achieved something this time, made progress. A little while longer and everything could have been resolved, it went so well. It was a conversation where he could feel their friendship slowly recovering.

Her words had brought a new hope into his heart; a twinkling of a chance that they could salvage their friendship after all. They could be friends again, and move on from a relationship.

He didn't want to feel the disappointment of another failed attempt at a relationship with Rachel. He didn't want to hurt her anymore. They could both move on and be happy as friends. She would be hard to get over, but maybe this accident was the push he finally needed.

Although, his gaze was locked on Rachel, watching as she wove through the guests. She still stirred feelings from deep within him. She shone a light on the good memories in the back of his mind, casting a shadow over the bad memories. Rachel had always done this to him.

Meanwhile, Mona studied Ross' face, he looked so thoughtful, but distracted.

"Everything okay?" Mona asked kindly. Ross was pulled out of his daydream, quickly snapping his gaze away from Rachel to rest on Mona.

"Uh, yeah, I'm fine," Ross answered.

In some ways he was telling the truth, Mona was comforting, and an answer to his loneliness. But, he was still torn between her and Rachel. Until he made a decision, at least he had Mona for comfort. Perhaps it was wrong to use her in such a way, but he couldn't help but feel drawn to her kindness.

This was becoming tiresome, to be back and forth on the matter at hand.

…..

Rachel made her way through the many people. All around her guests were enjoying themselves, having fun. She felt like she couldn't enjoy herself, especially since she would have to spend more time with her undisclosed secret weighing on her shoulders.

It did cheer her up a bit that Monica and Phoebe knew what she was hiding. She wouldn't have to keep it inside all the time; she could talk to them, at least.

Jovial faces swam in and out of Rachel's sight, making her comprehend how fed up she was with being miserable. She had worn a frown for weeks, she had cried until her tears wouldn't fall any longer, she felt like she'd lost her true self in all this chaos.

If Ross wanted to move on, that was his choice. Maybe this was just a temporary idea in his mind. They both needed to heal somehow; perhaps this was just his way of dealing with it. It was feasible that turning to someone outside their group of friends could be helpful to him. Only time would tell.

Right now, she wanted to stop being depressed. It wasn't easy to snap out of, but she decided she needed to start improving her mood. It wasn't fair to herself to keep harping on the low points when things with Ross were already looking brighter.

He had apologised to her, and Rachel could have sworn her heart skipped a beat. He had complimented her and Rachel felt their old habits returning. Their habit of hiding their feelings for each other, it used to be annoying, but now it was uplifting.

Like a raindrop in a river, Rachel had thought she'd lost a friend. However, she had been mistaken, she was now optimistic that everything could go back to normal.

Out of the corner of her eye, Rachel spotted Phoebe rapidly approaching. Phoebe was eager to speak to Rachel after noticing her reappearance in the grand reception hall.

"How did it go?" Phoebe asked, excitedly. As Rachel opened her mouth to answer, Phoebe cut her off. "Oh. No, no. Wait. Let's get Monica in on this too," Phoebe exclaimed. Her expression ignited with enthusiasm, in her signature lively manner.

Phoebe scanned the crowd, discovering how easy it was to find Monica - she stood out against the guests in her white dress. She took Rachel by the hand and led her in Monica's direction.

It wasn't long before Monica noticed them emerge from the crowd. Without delay, she told Chandler, and those they were catching up with, that she'd be back in a bit. Monica was as impatient as Phoebe to hear what happened between Ross and Rachel. The three women withdrew from the crowd on and around the dance floor, finding a more secluded area to talk.

"So, how did it go?" Phoebe asked, a smile across her face, hoping her lobsters had fixed things.

"It actually went alright," Rachel revealed, with a laugh. Phoebe and Monica peered at each other, overjoyed to see a smile on Rachel's face after such a long time.

"Rach, that's so great," Monica voiced, clasping her hands in front of herself, in a spirited fashion. "So you told him about the baby?" She asked in a whisper.

"No, I didn't tell him that," Rachel said, suddenly feeling an icy chill. Rachel couldn't stop her gaze from leaving the discussion and settling upon Ross, who continued to dance with Mona. Both Phoebe and Monica followed their friend's far off gaze, discovering the source of her distraction.

Phoebe and Monica's heart sank for Rachel, as they watched Ross with another woman. The way Rachel's posture changed in the blink of an eye. She stood with her arms crossed, uneasily shifting her weight. Both Phoebe and Monica noticed it - the glimmer of resentment in her stance. It was a look they'd seen Rachel give Ross before, fueled by disappointment.

"Rach, are you alright?" Monica asked. She stroked Rachel's arm comfortingly as she inquired, partially to draw Rachel back to their conversation, but more to make sure she wasn't upset.

"I had this whole little fantasy in my head: I would tell Ross about the baby and we could work on our relationship again," Rachel explained. "But now it's further from my reach than ever before. He's moved on."

"Rachel, this is Ross we're talking about. I don't think he can move on that quickly," Monica reassured.

"You know Rach, if someone I was still in love with was dancing with another woman-," Phoebe began going off on a tangent, before Rachel hastily interjected.

"Whoa, wait a second. Back it up. Still in love?" Rachel said, with a chuckle.

"Aren't you still in love with him?" Phoebe questioned, never afraid to approach the subject. Rachel was about to impulsively deny Phoebe's assumption, when she paused, choosing to admit the truth.

"Sometimes, I don't know. I guess I could still…" Rachel stammered, trying to find the words to explain how she felt, as she subtly motioned with her hands.

At this point in time it was hard to determine exactly how she felt concerning her relationship with Ross.

It was possible that she was just swept up in her fantasy. A fantasy where she would tell him about their child and he would insist they get together, insist they fix things between them. It was a fantasy where this baby was the glue that repaired their broken relationship.

Or was she really falling for him all over again? Maybe this accident had opened her eyes to something she hadn't seen before; an underlying love that just needed help being set free.

In a heartbeat she could have lost Ross. Was it possible that their near death experience opened her eyes? It was true that she realized she couldn't live without him, especially after the nightmares that inundated her subconscious mind. She constantly dreamt of hearing the news that Ross could not be revived.

Was this her mind's way of telling her she wanted to be with him? That being apart was like losing him?

She looked back at Ross and Mona. A mixture of envy, sadness, and anger crawled across her skin. It was too much to take in at such a late hour.

"Hey, it's okay. You don't have to know how you feel now. Just know that I'm sure he'll come around," Monica said to Rachel. Rachel felt warm tears roll down her cheeks. Were they tears of frustration, heartbreak? Rachel couldn't say.

"It's just been a lot of ups and downs for me today. If it's alright, I think I'm just going to head home," Rachel explained.

"That's fine. Do you want company, because I'm sure Phoebe-," Monica started, but Rachel cut in.

"Oh, God no, I'll be fine Mon. Please, enjoy the rest of the reception, I just need sleep," Rachel clarified, not wanting to ruin anyone else's time. Monica surrendered to Rachel's decision. She wasn't afraid of Rachel being alone. She could see that Rachel hadn't sunken into an alarmingly miserable state, like before.

"Okay, I'll see you at home then," Monica responded. Rachel hugged both her friends, whispering a soft goodbye to each of them. Then she exited the reception, trying not to let her eyes wander back to Ross and Mona as she passed the dance floor.

…..

After another song had finished, Ross and Mona clapped for the live band.

Ross failed to get Rachel off his mind, in spite of having a good time with Mona.

He enjoyed that Mona had no history attached to her, no bad memories, it was refreshing. Every moment with Mona made him aware that, somewhere deep down, he had the strength to move on.

It was a strength he lost around Rachel, as if being in her presence rendered his mind blank. Rachel had always been his weakness. She possessed an energy that enticed him. Rachel had been his fixation for so long; he had her, he lost her, now it was hard to only think of her as a friend.

He found himself wanting to know if they could move on from the past and start a new relationship. Or if they would let go and find a way to just go back to being friends.

The big question was: which did he _want_ to do?

He had succeeded in talking to Mona, getting to know her, growing to like her. He could easily move on with her. Yet the memory of Rachel followed him like his shadow.

Was it because he was torn, wondering if he wanted her back? Was it because he knew he should consult with her first, before deciding to move on?

Once again he had had a moment alone with her, once again he had opened up to her, and it hadn't helped him feel any less confused. He needed to talk to her again. He wasn't going to be able to settle this on his own.

"Do you mind if I just take a minute to talk to someone?" Ross asked, turning to Mona.

"I don't mind. I can wait," Mona answered cheerily, without hesitation.

"Thanks," Ross said. When he walked away from Mona he immediately noticed Monica. He ambled over to her, as fast as he could in his walking cast. "Mon," He called when he was within her hearing range.

"Ross, what is it?" Monica asked, as she turned around to see her brother approaching as if he were on a mission, or following a plan.

"Do you know where Rachel is? I, uh, need to talk to her," Ross explained, rapidly.

"Rachel went home, Ross," Monica stated, in a sorrowful voice. All the time she had been standing there with Rachel and Ross had to choose that moment to want to talk, minutes after she left?

"What? Is-is she alright?" Ross asked, worried he had hurt her again.

"She's fine," Monica stated, honestly.

"When did she leave?" Ross asked, he detested bombarding his sister with questions, but right now Rachel was the only one on his mind.

"Just a few minutes ago," Monica stated, wondering why Ross needed this information. Rachel left, he was out of luck.

"Thanks," Ross responded, before leaving her hanging. Monica didn't move as she watched Ross in confusion.

Ross was soon in the lobby, moving as fast as he could; his walking cast sending a resonating echo as he tread heavily against the tile floor. He hoped he could somehow catch Rachel before she left. He wanted to talk to her now, who knows when he'd get another chance.

When he opened the glass doors at the front entrance of the venue, he stepped out into the cold night. It was raining, not in droplets but a fine mist. Ross stood under the cover of the building's entry, instantly losing faith as he squinted through the sheets of rain.

Rachel was nowhere to be seen. There were no cabs waiting in front of the doors, they only passed by on the street, splashing through puddles as they drove.

Ross heaved a sigh, before wandering back inside. What did he think would happen? Rachel would wait around to talk to him?

Ross brushed it off as he felt himself sinking into a melancholy state once more. He didn't want to return to that wretched feeling. He wanted to be happy, he needed to be happy.

For now he would put this problem aside and just enjoy this night out of his apartment.

Without warning, from behind him, Ross heard the clicking of heels against the tile floor. He spun around instantly; part of him still longed for it to be Rachel entering the lobby, but instead he gradually became pleased to see Mona.

"There you are," Mona stated, with a warm smile. "Is everything okay?" She asked as she approached, noticing a hint of disappointment on Ross' face.

"Well, Rachel left. I just wanted to make sure she was alright. But, I missed her," Ross explained, leaving out the part about needing to talk to her.

"I'm sorry Rachel left," Mona said, trying to offer some form of comfort. "You really care about your friends, don't you?" She asked after the thought crossed her mind. Ross didn't know if she really wanted an answer but he opened up to her anyway.

"I do. I-I mean, my friends, they're like my family," Ross admitted.

"There are so few genuinely nice guys, like you, Ross," Mona flirted, but this time the moment was very different than any other they'd experienced tonight.

She took a step closer to Ross, continuing to study his eyes. He was very mysterious to her, it seemed like he'd been through a lot. He could look happy one minute and then sad the next. Nonetheless, she was completely infatuated with him, his kindness, his sense of humor, his intelligence.

There was tension between them. Mona was bold enough to take advantage of that feeling.

Mona leaned in, gently pressing her lips against Ross'. She moved her hands to his face as she gave him a lingering kiss.


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: I'll try not to keep you waiting too long for the next chapter. I've just been busy lately.**

**Please enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: The characters from Friends do not belong to me.**

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_A week later…_

Ross held Mona's hand in his, as they strolled down the busy city street. The sun was beginning to set over the skyline, bringing the city into a warm dusk glow. The orange sky and bright sun reflected off the windows of the many tall buildings.

Even with the noisy traffic and the constant bombardment of pedestrians in their path, Ross was in complete bliss.

Mona and Ross had begun dating after the wedding. They had spent every day together for the past week, going out for meals, spending time at each other's apartments. Both were genuinely enjoying their time together.

Ross couldn't fathom the emotions that hit him frequently. There was something about being with Mona made him feel confident; having her by his side elevated him into high spirits. It was a feeling he'd felt while dating Julie, Bonnie, even Emily.

It was a escalating sureness that he could get over Rachel.

Ross could sense that he was beginning to think of Rachel less, with each passing day. In fact, he began to open his mind to cogitate a variety of new thoughts. He thought about Mona, he thought about his other friends, he thought about work. The endless depressing thoughts about Rachel, about the accident, about the mistakes he'd made, were fading.

Of course, he hadn't forgotten about her completely, that was impossible. However, each rise of the sun led him to begin to consider her as only a friend. His memories seemed to only revolve around their friendship, or ways to repair their friendship.

Ross and Mona walked down the sidewalk together, they were both quiet, but it was a comfortable silence in the lively downtown street. Both were feeling a mixture of excitement and nerves as they approached their destination.

They were outside Monica and Chandler, Joey and Rachel's building. Ross had figured it would be a good idea to introduce Mona to his friends. He had run the idea by Monica who had, in turn, invited everyone to dinner. It was a chance for his friends to get to know Mona, as well as a dinner together before Monica and Chandler went on their honeymoon in two days.

Mona felt honored to be accepted into Ross' life in the little time they had known each other. Meeting his friends was a big step; it had the same sensation as meeting his family, since they were as important as family, to Ross. She already knew Monica from work, which made it a little less stressful, but it was still nerve-racking to meet the rest.

Mona really liked Ross, she felt like they clicked, their different personalities fit together. She had agreed to meet his friends for this very reason; she saw this relationship as so much more than a fling.

She just hoped she wasn't intruding on their lives, Ross had explained about their tight-knit group.

When Ross came to a stop in front of an apartment building, her heart began to pound faster. This was her chance to make a good first impression.

"Ready?" Ross asked, watching Mona as she gazed up at the building.

"I'm ready," Mona said with a smile. Ross then led her through the front doors.

…..

Monica had just buzzed Ross and Mona in, before returning to cooking dinner. Everyone was over already; Joey and Chandler were watching TV while Phoebe and Rachel helped set the table. The room was filled with the usual energy.

Monica wondered how Rachel was staying so composed. Undoubtedly, Ross bringing over the woman he was dating couldn't be easy on her. She had dealt with this before, falling for Ross while he was with someone else, but there were very different circumstances this time around.

There was a slight knock on the door, before Ross opened it. Mona followed him through the door; however, Ross pulled her to his side.

Everyone looked to the door to witness their arrival.

"Everybody, this is Mona," Ross introduced. "That's Chandler and Joey," Ross told Mona as he pointed in their direction. "This is Phoebe. And you know Monica and Rachel," Ross finished, acknowledging the women in the kitchen.

A chorus of greetings welcomed Mona as the group gravitated towards the kitchen table to chat with the guest in their group.

Soon, everyone was seated and food was being passed.

Rachel got a strange feeling in her chest. It was a constricting sensation that spread to her throat. Seeing Ross with Mona hurt her more than she expected.

She had prepared to deal with the feelings associated with keeping her secret all night. She had not prepared for dealing with other emotions over the course of this dinner. Before this moment, she hadn't been sure how she felt about Ross. Now it was clear.

Rachel could feel it, the jealousy, the heartbreak, as if it were injected into her veins. It was becoming evident that she wanted to be by his side, not watch him forget about her and be with some girl he met at a wedding reception. She thought she could accept his choice to move on, but something inside her heart told her she never would be satisfied with that concept.

Their conversation at the wedding was constantly in her thoughts. She analysed every word he'd said, every shift in his body language, every expression crossing his face. She tried to figure out his hidden thoughts.

She had come so close to revealing the truth. She wanted him to know about their child. She wanted to have it out on the open to see where everything would unfold from there.

She looked on as Ross gazed at Mona, seeming to be completely head-over-heals for her. She remembered the way he used to do the same to her. How she would catch him gazing at her, and he would try to look away, shyly attempting to pretend he wasn't.

Rachel noticed Ross' gaze turn to her. Her eyes met his - they sat across the table from one another. This time Ross didn't look away, his eyes softened and he began to look apologetic.

"How are you?" Ross carefully asked Rachel, as their friends' conversations continued to happen around them. The two hadn't had much time to talk to each other since the wedding.

"I'm okay," Rachel said, honestly.

"How's work been?" Ross asked, wanting to take a chance and make small talk.

"It's been busy. Are you back at work?" Rachel asked.

"Yes. I returned a few days ago," Ross answered.

For the first time in weeks they felt they were talking again as friends. There was tension in the air, but it intermingled with the comfort in being amongst their friends.

Rachel wished there was a way for them to be alone together; she wanted to talk to him about all the topics on her mind.

It became increasingly terrifying the longer she kept this secret from him. It was nice that Monica and Phoebe knew; they had been very calming over the past week. She could talk openly about how she was feeling. Phoebe was there to offer her guidance, after experiencing being pregnant first-hand. Rachel was pleased that her two friends accepted her pregnancy, knowing her family would be angry, to say the least.

Rachel had asked them on several occasions how she should tell Ross. But even Phoebe, who always had creative ideas, was stumped.

This was a very complicated situation that Rachel was beginning to get frustrated with. Ross was the father of her child and dating another woman, while Rachel could identify that her feelings for Ross were returning.

…..

It was getting late and the group decided it was time to part ways.

After saying goodbye, everybody but Rachel left Monica and Chandler's. Monica watched Rachel strangely; her friend seemed to get lost in her thoughts as she observed the door. Ross and Mona had exited the apartment last, and Monica could only guess that was what had Rachel so interested in the doorway.

Ross had said goodbye to Rachel, one on one. The rest of their friends were distracted by sharing final conversations about seeing each other tomorrow, and doing this again when Monica and Chandler returned from their honeymoon.

Ross had approached Rachel, with a smile gracing his face. He broke their eye contact to hug her, without thinking. Rachel was surprised to feel his arms encircle her; she tentatively hugged him in return. Her heart fluttered in her chest, wishing this moment could last forever, that she could stay safely wrapped in his warm embrace.

Ross pulled away, all too soon for Rachel's liking. He stepped back, his confidence slowly fading along with his smile.

"See you soon, Rach," Ross stated, in a serious manner as an odd sensation filled his chest.

"Bye, Ross," Rachel responded, in no more than a whisper.

Rachel would look back on this moment and wish she had been more courageous. She wished she had asked to take him aside to talk, but seeing him take Mona's waiting hand and then exit the apartment, left her without a voice.

…..

Ross invited Mona to his place after they entered the hallway between apartment 19 and 20. Before long, they relaxed in Ross' living room on his leather couch.

He was relieved his friends seemed to accept Mona. He hoped she would mesh well into the group. He was mostly worried about how Rachel would feel about her. Ross really liked Mona, but he didn't want Rachel to be uncomfortable with him dating other people.

Rachel had been difficult to read; he couldn't tell how she was feeling.

As Ross deliberated and settled into the soft couch cushions, he could feel his eyelids grow heavy with exhaustion. Before long, his eyes wouldn't stay open, and he was lulled into a light sleep by the soothing hum of the TV.

The darkness of his closed eyes almost immediately melded into a dream, a dream that he hadn't relived in the past week.

Ross was back living the minutes after the car accident. He couldn't determine he was dreaming it felt so real. Every detail of the setting was the same, down to the dim streetlights shining across the pavement.

Ross' head was spinning violently, his vision was blurred around the edges, his heart pounded at a frightening rate.

He held Rachel in his arms, having just pulled her from the mangled Porsche. Her eyes were closed; she looked restful as if she were only asleep, instead of out cold.

His hot tears rolled down his face, as he willed Rachel's eyes to open.

"Don't leave me, Rachel, please," Ross whispered as his throat constricted with the sobs that threatened to escape his chest.

Rachel did not respond. He caressed her soft cheek with his shaking hand, wiping some of the dirt off her skin.

Not unlike the real life event, the paramedics arrived. They crouched down to his level and explained something in an urgent manner. Again, Ross couldn't understand what he was hearing, they sounded muffled.

Rachel was taken from his arms by the paramedics, but this time Ross did not pass out.

He watched as Rachel was taken away from where he sat on the cold ground. The medics put her on a gurney, preparing to take her in the ambulance.

Ross stood, feeling drawn to following the paramedics who had taken Rachel. They brought her to a parked ambulance, Ross trailed closely.

"Please let me stay with her," Ross pleaded. Ross was irritated when he realized they couldn't hear him, they didn't respond, they didn't even turn their heads. The paramedics speedily loaded the gurney into the ambulance, closing the back doors behind them with a thud.

Ross would have chased the ambulance but he felt as if his feet were stuck in quicksand. He couldn't move as he watched the emergency vehicle drive down the highway, its siren blaring, its lights flashing brightly against the dark night sky.

Suddenly there was a slight pressure on his shoulder. He turned to see it was Mona's hand, keeping him where he stood.

"Ross?" Mona's voice came from beside him on the couch. Ross opened his eyes, releasing himself into reality. His heart was racing and his breathing was fast, Mona had her hand on his shoulder to wake him from his nightmare.

"I'm sorry. I, uh, must have dozed off," Ross explained, taking a deep breath to calm himself down.

"It's okay... Are you alright?" Mona asked, watching as Ross' panic gradually subsided.

"I-I had a dream about the car accident," Ross admitted.

"Rachel was in it, wasn't she?" Mona questioned, turning her eyes to focus on her clasped hands.

"She was. How, uh, how did you know that?" Ross asked, dumbfounded. He had told Mona he'd broken his leg in a car accident, but he hadn't mentioned Rachel.

"You said her name out loud," Mona admitted. Ross didn't know what to say. But Mona filled the awkward silence, to his relief. "What's the story between you two?" She asked with interest.

"We used to date. Years ago," Ross divulged, hesitantly. Another silence came between the couple.

"It's late and we have work tomorrow. I'll see you in the morning?" Mona suggested.

"Yes. I'll see you tomorrow," Ross confirmed. Mona then leaned in and kissed him goodbye, before leaving the tense atmosphere.

Ross turned off the TV and all the lights then retreated to his bedroom. He got under the blankets, his head on his soft pillow, but he had a difficult time relaxing enough to sleep. He believed that his dream had a hidden meaning.

Was he truly ready to let go of Rachel?

…..

"Would you just tell Ross already?" Monica told Rachel, as soon as Chandler was in the other room. The two women sat together in the living room, winding down before bed by talking.

"I need to find a time where he's alone. I can't do this with Mona around," Rachel retorted, a bitter quality to her voice.

"I'm sorry you have to go through this Rach," Monica said, remembering how hard this must be on Rachel.

"I just need time alone with him. What should I do?" Rachel asked, with an exasperated sigh.

"You have to stop waiting for the perfect moment, because it will never come. That's how it is between you and Ross. This is how your relationship has always been, you've always have the worst timing," Monica explained.

"This isn't just about me liking Ross anymore. This isn't only about a relationship. It's more complicated than that," Rachel stated.

"Of course it is Rach, but I have a feeling Ross will break up with Mona as soon as you tell him the truth," Monica revealed. She had thought about her brother and best friend's relationship a lot lately. She hoped this baby would bring them back together; they all loved seeing Ross and Rachel happy as a couple.

"But what if a relationship between us doesn't work out, like the last times?" Rachel asked.

"How do you know a relationship won't work out? This time you have more to fight for: a family," Monica stated. Rachel got tears in her eyes, Monica had a very good point. Maybe they could have a lasting relationship, for their child.

"Do you really believe that it'll work between us?" Rachel asked, finding Monica's words building her confidence.

"Of course I do. Ross will be so much happier with you," Monica said, looking Rachel directly in the eyes. "Listen. You are going to have a baby. It's time for you to grow up and be courageous, so just tell him the truth and see where it goes from there."

"You're right," Rachel admitted, softly.

"When we get back from our honeymoon I hope to hear every detail about how it went between you two," Monica said.

"The next time I see Ross I'm going to pull him aside and tell him everything," Rachel explained, feeling uplifted and motivated after listening to Monica.


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: I'm sorry, I know I said I'd try to update quick, but it's been a hectic few days. **

**Please enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: The characters from Friends do not belong to me.**

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The orange fabric beneath her, the sweet aroma of coffee beans filling the air, the enthralling chatter of the other customers. Everyone around her revelled in the beautiful morning, whether they conversed with friends or read the paper with coffee in hand. It made being alone at the coffeehouse less lonely.

Her friends were busy, heading to work, leaving her unaccompanied. She didn't mind the time on her own, it was relaxing.

A small plate with a half-eaten blueberry muffin sat on the table in front of her knees. Sitting back against the soft couch, she took a sip from the purple mug in her hands. The coffee tasted better than she remembered, as its warmth melted her worries away.

It was a rich taste that reminded her of the pleasant times she'd spent with her friends; a taste that let her escape the chaos of a busy morning or a stressful day to come.

Rachel always felt right at home in the coziness of Central Perk. She sat upon the sofa, in their group's usual spot. It had been a few days since she'd been here, so she took the opportunity to stop for breakfast before work.

"Rachel?"

Rachel twisted in her seat in order to look over her shoulder towards the doors. Her stomach knotted violently when she realized who had called her name from behind her.

Ross and Mona approached the orange sofa with timid smiles on their faces.

Rachel couldn't decide if this was good luck or bad luck, that Ross and Mona had run into her. Was this the time to take him aside? Could she achieve her goal: telling Ross the truth the next time she saw him? Here was her chance, talking to Ross was within her grasp.

"Can we join you?" Ross asked with poise, deciding there was no need to be nervous around her.

"Sure," Rachel answered. She warmly gestured for them to take a seat, despite the nerves attempting to defeat her composure. Ross sat beside Rachel on the sofa, while Mona took a seat in the nearby armchair.

"I'll get us some coffee," Ross said, mostly to Mona. When he received a nod from her, he promptly stood up. "Do you need anything Rach?" Ross asked, looking down at Rachel.

"I'm all set, thanks," Rachel responded, leaning forward to pick up her plate.

"Okay, I'll be right back," Ross stated, before leaving Mona and Rachel alone together.

Mona kept her eyes glued on Ross as he joined the line at the counter. Soon, Rachel interrupted her line of sight, triggering a new idea.

Mona decided to move so she could join Rachel on the orange sofa. She didn't know Rachel very well, but wanted to take the opportunity to talk to her.

"So that was fun last night, wasn't it?" Mona asked, making an effort to initiate a bit of small-talk.

"Yeah, it was a great dinner," Rachel commented. It was difficult to be friendly with Mona when she was dating Ross, but Rachel tried to keep in mind that both Mona and Ross were doing nothing wrong.

"Monica's such a great hostess," Mona commented.

"She really is," Rachel responded, not knowing how to respond.

"So last night, after dinner, I was talking to Ross and he said you were also in the car accident a few weeks ago. Is that true?" Mona asked, deciding to ask what she wanted to know, before Ross returned.

It wasn't that she didn't trust Ross was telling the truth, she just wanted to confirm the details so she could understand what had happened. Ross hadn't said much about the accident

It was hard to forget his words when he had talked in his sleep the previous night. The way his hoarse voice whispered Rachel's name, sent shivers down her spine. That moment made her realize that this was nothing to take lightly.

"Yes... It was my fault, actually," Rachel revealed, she wasn't sure why she was inclined to share so much, it just rolled off her tongue.

"Your fault?" Mona inquired.

"I was driving, I took my hands off the wheel," Rachel stated, resentfully remembering the awful mistake she'd made.

"I'm sorry to bring it up. I just wanted to know," Mona admitted, fearfully, when Rachel wouldn't meet her eyes.

"Has Ross mentioned anything else about me?" Rachel asked, trying to change the topic. It was the first question that came to her mind. Her gaze shifted back up to Mona, in curiosity. She knew it was wrong to pry, but it was tempting.

"Just that the two of you used to date," Mona answered, watching for a reaction to cross Rachel's face.

"That's true. It was years ago, we stayed friends afterwards," Rachel explained, again confessing a lot to this woman she barely knew.

"You've never wanted to get back together?" Mona tried to ask without disclosing her true thoughts. Honestly, she wondered if she was coming between the two. She noticed the way Ross and Rachel interacted; there was a strange tension between the two friends.

"We're just friends," Rachel stated. This conversation was getting very uncomfortable; it was shocking to hear Mona ask something like that.

"Are you two alright? It seems like Ross has a hard time talking about you. It's been tough to get him to tell me about your history," Mona explained, with a gentle quality. Rachel wished she'd stop asking these personal questions. However, as much as Rachel wanted Ross to leave Mona, she couldn't find it in herself to be rude to her.

"We're going through a rough time, after the accident and all. But things should get better soon," Rachel said, figuring that was as simple as she could describe the whole situation.

She felt bad that this woman was going to be trapped in this situation along with her and Ross. As soon as Rachel exposed the truth everything would change. Here Mona was, just dating a man she liked, and her life could be turned upside-down in the next little while.

It didn't prevent Rachel from aiming to tell Ross today. Enough was enough; she'd kept this secret too long.

An awkward silence enveloped the women, leaving them tongue-tied. Rachel just sipped her coffee, while Mona discreetly watched for Ross' return.

To both women's relief, it wasn't much longer before Ross returned with a cup of coffee in either hand. He strode around the back of the couch to sit next to Mona. He could immediately sense the uneasy atmosphere between the women; he hoped the two were getting along.

"I got you a coffee," Ross told Mona.

"Thanks Ross," She responded, expressing her gratitude by kissing him on the cheek. Ross handed her the coffee mug, before taking a sip of his own coffee.

"What, uh, were you discussing?" Ross asked, trying to clear the rigidity in the air.

"Just how the two of you used to date," Mona stated.

"Oh? That's good, I guess," Ross said slowly, all the while focusing solely on Rachel.

"I told her we've been able to stay good friends," Rachel admitted, giving Ross a meaningful smile.

Mona noticed Ross return her smile and began to feel a wave of jealousy. She wondered if something _was_ going on between them, the way they peered at each other was not a look between friends, it was a longing glance.

Mona snuggled against Ross' side, thoroughly breaking his concentration on Rachel. In return, Rachel began to feel uneasy. This was comparable to watching Ross with Julie, or Bonnie, or any other one of the women he'd dated.

"You know, I should get to work. I start at 9:00," Rachel stated, knowing it was a weak argument, but wanting to escape the couple. Her plan to tell Ross today slowly slipped between the cracks.

"Rach, you still have half an hour. Stay. Please," Ross expressed. It felt like ages since he'd spent time with Rachel, even if they saw each other last night; he didn't want the moment to end.

"Fine, I'll finish my coffee, then go," Rachel declared. She couldn't say no to Ross' pleading eyes.

"Where do you work Rachel?" Mona asked.

"I work for Ralph Lauren," Rachel answered.

"So what is it you do?" Mona questioned, trying to distract herself from how uncomfortable she was being seated between Rachel and Ross.

As Rachel explained her job she watched Ross put his arm around Mona, sweetly holding her against his side. A sick feeling crawled across Rachel's skin. She managed to stay composed while observing the couple display their affection towards one another.

"You have a lecture today, don't you Ross?" Mona asked, keeping the conversation going once Rachel had finished speaking.

"Yes, I'll probably leave right after Rachel," Ross revealed, mainly to Mona.

"If you have to," Mona said, flirtatiously faking disappointment about him leaving.

"I'll be back this afternoon," Ross stated, kindly.

"Okay," Mona spoke.

All Rachel could do was sit there while the couple shared their sappy conversation. She tried to focus on anything but them, until they stopped. After a few seconds, Rachel looked up from the patterned carpet to see the couple locked in a quick kiss.

A surge of nausea rippled through Rachel's body. It wasn't clear what it was caused by, maybe her pregnancy, maybe Mona and Ross kissing in front of her. All she knew was that she felt overwhelmingly sick.

Ross couldn't refrain from studying Rachel's expression, after he ended the kiss with Mona; he was quick to notice her declining condition.

"Are you okay Rach?" Ross asked, witnessing a sickly colour spread across her skin. "You don't look well."

"I think I'm going to be sick," Rachel murmured as she quickly clamped her hand over her mouth.

With that, Rachel got up from the sofa and dashed towards the women's restroom. She tried hard not to attract too much attention from the other customers, as she hurried through Central Perk. Ross and Mona rotated in their seat to watch her disappear through the doorway to the restroom hallway. They then stared at each other in complete shock.

"I'm going to make sure she's okay," Ross indicated, impulsively. Before Mona could answer, he had already gotten to his feet to hurry after Rachel.

Ross reached the hallway between the men and women's restroom, where he warily stood beside the women's door, appearing to be very concerned.

"Rach?" Ross called, stepping closer to listen.

When she didn't answer, he waited, leaning against the wall opposite the door. He didn't know why he chased after her; it wasn't as if he could do anything to help her.

Before long, the door opened to reveal Rachel. She looked up, after keeping her eyes on the ground, to see Ross standing in front of her.

"I wanted to make sure you're okay," Ross explained, when he saw Rachel's shocked expression.

"I'm fine. I-I should get going, though," Rachel said, feeling very embarrassed. She started walking when Ross grabbed her hand.

"Wait. Can we talk?" Ross asked, Rachel noticed a serious demeanour replace his alarmed façade. Rachel's heart fluttered as she turned to face him, here was her chance.

"Sure Ross," Rachel agreed.

"Let's go outside," Ross suggested, dropping Rachel's hand to gesture towards the entrance. Rachel nodded and led the way to the front of the coffeehouse.

Ross and Rachel walked silently through the double doors. They then turned to the left to stand by the brick wall of the building, instead of in front of the large window of Central Perk.

Rachel felt even worse than she had minutes ago. Her nausea was worsened by the way her entire body surged with nerves. Her knees were trembling as Ross focused on her with concern in his eyes.

He didn't care he'd left Mona inside, Rachel was not acting like herself and he needed to know what was going on. It felt like there was a gaping hole in his chest when he wondered if he was the reason she was behaving this way.

"What's really going on?" Ross asked, sternly, as they stood against the cool brick wall. Many people passed them on their morning commute to work, but Ross and Rachel were lost in their own world. It was as if there was a bubble of tension around them.

Ross looked deep into her eyes, and her heart was in her throat. She was nervous to start speaking, but she didn't want to provide an opportunity for interruptions to ensue; she needed to tell him as soon as she could. She took a deep breath to calm herself.

A weight was lifted off Rachel's shoulders as soon as she felt the words leave her lips.

"I'm pregnant."

To say Ross was speechless was an understatement. He was not expecting to hear that answer.

"Am I the father?" Ross asked, not trying to be rude but trying to wrap his head around it.

"Yes, you're the father," Rachel clarified. She was beginning to feel overwhelmed with emotion; tears came to her eyes as she studied Ross' face. She would give anything to know the thoughts running through his head.

A few minutes passed. Ross couldn't find his voice.

After waiting for a response, Rachel noticed Mona walk out the doors of Central Perk. She almost screamed with frustration. She wanted an answer from Ross, but they were out of time once again.

"Maybe it's a good idea if you take some time to think this over. I have to go to work," Rachel stated, stifling an irritated sigh.

"Okay," Ross said, it was all he could manage to say as he gave a nod.

"I'll see you later," Rachel declared as she stared past Ross to focus on Mona's advance. Ross followed Rachel's gaze, spinning around to notice Mona as well.

"Take care," Ross responded, after turning around to face Rachel.

Rachel took one last look at him before leaving. After turning her back on the coffeehouse she let her tears fall. She had done it, revealed her secret. Now she would have to wait and see what was to come. They would have to sort everything out, but at least he knew.

Ross, on the other hand, began to sweat as Mona came closer.

"Is Rachel alright?" Mona asked when she stood facing Ross.

"She's okay," Ross stated.

"You look pale. Are _you_ okay?" Mona questioned.

"I'm fine. I just wanted to speak to Rachel about… something," Ross said, unable to come up with an excuse. Ross knew he couldn't tell her the truth, he knew this was a very important secret to keep.

"You're acting strange," Mona confessed, concern and suspicion intermingling in her voice.

"I need to get to work," Ross stated, dodging her point.

"Do you want company?" Mona asked, sounding flirtatious.

"I'm fine, thanks," Ross stated. He badly wanted to be alone, needing time with the thoughts that were plaguing his mind. "I'll see you after work."

"Okay. Then I guess I'll see you later," Mona said, still curious about what had changed Ross' attitude so drastically.

Mona then kissed Ross goodbye, drawing his face towards her with her hands on his cheeks. She was let down to feel Ross' unmoving lips against her own. He stood there as if he were frozen, barely kissing her in return.

Ross couldn't help it. He was distracted by Rachel, and the fact that she was pregnant with his child.


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: Please enjoy the chapter.**

**Disclaimer: The characters from Friends do not belong to me.**

* * *

Today it all became clearer; today she felt better knowing she had made it over a huge obstacle.

Even her busy day at work couldn't halt her new upbeat outlook. It was like reaching the finish line of a marathon. Now she had to deal with her burning muscles and breathless lungs.

Rachel was happy, happy her secret was _finally_ out in the open. Yet, she still spent a small amount of her day worrying about the next conversation she would have to have with Ross. Even with the truth revealed there was plenty to deal with.

She wanted to know the thoughts in Ross' mind. She knew where she stood in this situation, but Ross was a mystery. She did only tell him this morning, but the only way to know his thoughts was to talk to him.

He had a lot on his plate ranging from their baby to Mona. Rachel just wanted to know how they could fit all these pieces into their complicated puzzle.

Rachel climbed the familiar staircase, returning from work after a busy day. There was one more flight of stairs before she reached the corridor between apartments 19 and 20. She knew every knot in the brown wood, every spot where the boards creaked; each step brought her closer to the comforts of home.

The forest green door with the brass number 20 posted on its surface greeted her. She twisted the brass doorknob and crossed the threshold of the apartment.

The sight within the purple walls could only be described as organized chaos; Monica and Chandler seemed to be undertaking some last-minute packing. They were almost ready to leave for their honeymoon the next morning.

"Hey Rach," Chandler greeted, when he noticed Rachel enter.

"Having fun?" Rachel inquired, as she witnessed Chandler zipping up a bag.

"Well you know Monica… at least she's having fun," Chandler quipped.

"That's it, we're ready to go," Monica exclaimed, as she brought one last suitcase into the living room. "Good day at work, Rach?" Monica asked when she noticed Rachel had arrived.

"Yeah, I guess it was good… I told Ross today," Rachel said, nonchalantly. Monica nearly dropped the suitcase she held.

"You did? How? When?" Monica asked, as her voice escaladed to a shrill pitch.

"What?" Chandler questioned, feeling completely lost. Rachel saw a puzzled expression furrow his brow.

"I guess there's no need to keep it a secret anymore…" Rachel stated, before looking at Chandler intensely. "I'm pregnant."

"What?" Chandler asked again, his shocked tone almost as high-pitched as his wife's.

"What's going on?" Joey suddenly piped in; he drifted into the apartment to hear Chandler's reaction.

"Rachel's pregnant," Chandler revealed. It burst out of him uncontrollably.

"No way," Joey answered, finding it hard to believe Chandler. But when he turned to Rachel she nodded, confirming that Chandler was indeed telling the truth.

"Does Phoebe know?" Joey asked, after noticing her absence.

"Yes," Monica answered, on Rachel's behalf.

"Ross is the father, and I told him today," Rachel explained. She paid no attention to Chandler and Joey's shock, and continued speaking. "I was having coffee in Central Perk, he came in with Mona and we found a moment alone to talk."

"What did he do when you told him?" Monica asked with deep interest, a silence fell over the men as they quietly listened.

"He didn't say anything really. Then Mona came and interrupted," Rachel exposed, opening the flood gates. "I don't know what he's going to choose to do, he's so happy with Mona. I might end up doing this alone," Rachel explained, blinking back the tears that stung her eyes.

"Rach, you will never be alone. You have us," Joey declared. He then stepped closer to her, taking her hand in both of his and patting them comfortingly.

"He'll come around. Just give him time to let it sink in," Monica added.

"And if worse comes to worse, Joey and I will talk to him," Chandler stated, receiving a nod from Joey in agreement. Rachel couldn't stop her tears from trickling down her cheeks.

"Thank you," Rachel spoke. "I think I'm going to get some sleep and forget about this for a while."

"Alright Rach, we'll try to keep it down out here," Monica stated, but Rachel turned to her.

"I actually think I'll go back home, I'm thoroughly healed. Plus you are going on your honeymoon tomorrow, it doesn't make sense to stay," Rachel explained softly, speaking mostly to Monica.

"I'm happy to have you back," Joey commented. He then pulled Rachel into a gentle hug. All felt the same sensation, overjoyed that Rachel was well enough to go home.

…..

The next morning Rachel was surrounded by the neutral walls of her office. It was meant to be a calming colour; however, it did nothing to make her any less stressed.

It was nearly silent in her office. It was unsettling that the only sound came from the scratching of her pen across paper or the click of her keyboard as she typed.

This presentation needed to be finished; it was to be presented next week. Still, no matter how hard Rachel tried to concentrate on what she needed to get done, her thoughts would serve as a relentless distraction.

Rachel gripped the arms of her chair, watching the fabric covered foam contract under the pressure of her hands. She sat back in her desk chair, sighing in frustration. When she looked down at the pile of papers scattered across the desktop it only reminded her of how much she needed to do.

She hoisted herself out of the chair, sending it slowly rolling backwards. She paced to her window, knowing what an animal must undergo when trapped in a small cage.

It was beginning to appear that she wouldn't get any work done without talking to Ross again. Ross was her friend, it shouldn't be this hard.

She parted the horizontal blinds that hung against the wall of glass. The city was alive outside the confines of her office. Taxis painted the streets in a sea of bright yellow, pedestrians crossed at intersections looking like ants from her point of view. Seeing the cabs gave her an idea.

A decision was made and Rachel wanted to act on it before she lost her nerve. She let the blinds slip from her fingers, so she could turn and examine the clock.

Rachel grabbed her purse from a chair that sat against the wall. She slung it over her shoulder and reached for the doorknob.

"I'm taking my lunch break," Rachel told her assistant, who sat at a desk outside her office.

…..

The hallways were difficult to navigate; Rachel didn't know where to find him. All of the hallways began to look the same; the same chair rail running along the walls, the same drab colours were solely interrupted by doorways.

She only had the time designated for her lunch break and the cab ride over had taken longer than expected. So, when she approached a group of men she knew she needed to ask for directions. They looked like stereotypical professors, all dressed in suits, chatting in the New York University hallway.

"Excuse me. Do you know where I can find Professor Ross Geller?" Rachel asked, interrupting the men's conversation.

"He's probably in his office. Just go down that hall, his name is on the door," One of the men replied, pointing in the direction Rachel needed to travel.

"Thanks," Rachel exhaled, before heading in the right direction.

She figured this was the only way to talk to Ross alone. She only had a limited amount of time, but there most likely would be no disruptions.

Finally Room 29 had black letters reading _Professor Geller_. Rachel tried to look through the frosted glass that was set in the grey door, but only undecipherable smudges of colour met her eyes. Her heart was pounding hard enough to hear it in her ears, she had to breathe the nerves away.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the door, Ross sat in his black, leather desk chair. He mechanically graded papers prior to his next lecture.

He was broken out of his trance by a knock on his door. It was like hearing clearly after being underwater; it broke his silent moment of concentration.

"Yes, come in," Ross called, out of habit. He straightened up in his chair to greet his visitor.

Ross did a double take before accepting that it was actually Rachel entering his office. She peaked around the door in a nervous state.

"Hi Ross," Rachel said, "I hope this isn't a bad time."

"No, no, please come in," Ross said, gesturing to the chair across his desk.

Rachel examined the blue walls and dinosaur-themed décor, as she took a seat in the leather armchair, with wood armrests. She glanced at the framed degrees behind his head as Ross just watched her. He was still in disbelief that Rachel was in his NYU office.

"What brings you here?" Ross asked, drawing Rachel's gaze back to him.

"I'm sorry to intrude like this, but I just need to talk to you," Rachel admitted, sounding a little more vulnerable than usual.

"You're not intruding," Ross said, confidently.

"I want to apologise for springing that news on you yesterday, at the coffeehouse of all places," Rachel said with a nervous chuckle. "I couldn't wait any longer," her voice became more serious.

"It's alright Rach. How long have you known, about, uh, the baby?" Ross asked, timidly.

"A few weeks, I found out after the car accident," Rachel told him.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Ross asked dejectedly, his eyes downturned.

"At first I was afraid to tell you, after our conversation. Then I tried to tell you at the wedding but we were interrupted by Mona," Rachel explained, her temper rising a degree.

Ross began to get a guilty feeling deep within his chest, that and sorrow. He had really made some mistakes that he fully regretted.

"So what happens now? Where do we go from here?" Ross asked gently. He focused on Rachel's blue eyes.

"It's up to you. You can be as involved as you want. I can do this alone if I need to, but I'm going to have this baby," Rachel stressed. It was not even an option to put this baby up for adoption or have it aborted. She was going to keep this baby. Ross answered faster than she anticipated.

"I'd be the biggest jerk if I asked you to do this alone. I want to be there for you and this baby. I'm your friend, I will be there every step of the way," Ross explained with assurance. Rachel was happy to have his support, but one word he'd said began to bother her.

"So we'll just be friends who have a kid, then," Rachel assumed, trying not to look Ross in the eye.

Ross thought about her point for a moment. The word _friend_ had just come naturally, but he could tell Rachel was making an implication. Could they just be friends? They were having a baby together.

Rachel grew impatient as she watched Ross' brow furrow in deep thought.

"You know what Ross? I think I already know the answer. Don't worry about it," Rachel said casually.

"I messed up any chance of us having a relationship, didn't I?" Ross questioned, trying not to seem too depressed.

"I was actually referring to Mona. You're dating Mona, all we can be is friends who have a kid if she's okay with it," Rachel explained, hiding her true feelings as usual.

"Right. I do have Mona," Ross said, looking at Rachel seriously. Rachel felt uncomfortable under his gaze, as she glanced down at her watch.

"Oh, I have to go," Rachel noticed. Her window for her lunch break was drawing to a close. "I'm going to be late and Mr. Zelner won't be happy," Rachel explained.

"I'm glad you stopped by, Rach. Don't think - don't think I'm not happy to be having this baby. I'll be there for you," Ross revealed, effectively slowing Rachel's rush to stand and throw her purse over her shoulder.

"I'll see you soon," Rachel stated, feeling herself get chocked up.

Ross stood and walked around his desk, Rachel's heart began to race as she watched him draw near.

He approached her, without saying a word. When he was within an arm's reach he gently placed his hand on Rachel's lower stomach. Rachel's breath caught in her throat. It gave her goosebumps as his hand touched where their baby existed within her.

"I have a picture," Rachel whispered, filling the gap of silence after Ross awkwardly let his hand drop. She slid her purse off her shoulder to briefly search its contents.

She found the small square of card she was looking for, and promptly handed it to Ross.

If his gesture didn't make her tears overflow the way he looked at this ultrasound photo did. His eyes softened, as he stared at the black and white picture in awe.

"That's just - that's unbelievable," Ross stuttered, as he looked at the baby he didn't know existed prior to yesterday. His baby. His and Rachel's baby.

"You can keep that if you'd like," Rachel offered, noticing Ross become lost in thought.

"Thanks Rach," Ross said, sincerely. He tore his gaze from the photo to look at her.

They both laughed at the happy tears that filled both their eyes. It was a joyful sound echoing off the walls of Ross' office.

Ross couldn't help but pull Rachel into a warm hug. This time there was no one watching, it was just the two of them lost in their moment of happiness.

Rachel could hear Ross' heart beating as fast as hers. Ross held her sweetly against his chest. She could stay like that all day, his protective arms wrapped around her, the joy filling the air. Even when they pulled away, their smiles remained plastered on their faces.

Unfortunately the grins began to fade fast, as their fleeting moment ended and reality hit once more.

"Now I'm going to be really late," Rachel stated. Ross reached around her to open the door.

"Rachel," Ross called, as she began to leave. This caused Rachel to spin back around to face him, holding her breath with anticipation. He stuck half his body around the office doorframe.

Ross immediately forgot why he shouted to her. He figured he just wanted to talk longer, or arrange a time to have a heart-to-heart again. But, he lost his nerve when he thought of how Mona would feel.

"Take care," Ross ended up saying.


	13. Chapter 13

**AN: There will only be two more chapters after this one.**

**Please enjoy lucky number 13.**

**Disclaimer: The characters from Friends do not belong to me.**

* * *

Ross merely watched as Rachel paced down the hall, leaving him in the dust. An empty feeling enveloped Ross; he became aware of the hole where his heart used to be. It felt like he was missing something, or someone. It was a constriction in his lungs, a lump in his throat.

When he could no longer see Rachel, when she rounded the corner out of his view, he turned and wandered back into his office.

The ultrasound picture was still in his hand, the edge of the card pressing into his palm.

He was drawn to the photo, holding it within eyesight with a trembling hand. The only other ultrasounds he'd seen were of Ben. Even years after seeing an ultrasound, he still managed to find the silhouette of the tiny baby amidst the black and white background.

Ross was still in shock, but seeing this photo made it reality. He was going to be a father again.

His heart seized, when the words reached his ears. When Rachel sprung the news on him, he just didn't know what to say. He definitely wasn't expecting it. He almost doubted it, at first - he and Rachel used a condom after all. However, there was something that made him stop; something about the seriousness of Rachel's gaze.

He was a little uneasy about the way they'd left things just now.

_So we'll just be friends who have a kid, then_

Rachel had said it as a statement, it wasn't a question. They would be friends with a kid, if he continued to date Mona. He figured he had crushed any chances of a relationship with Rachel, especially if she had suggested being friends.

The internal tug-of-war had begun again. For a while he was being pulled in Mona's direction, but Rachel's side was gaining momentum.

Seeing Rachel had made him forget about Mona for that short time they were together. It was as if time stood still when Rachel was in the room.

He crossed the office to slump back into his desk chair, the cool leather surrounding him. His fingers pinched the bridge of his nose, as he closed his eyes.

Rachel was the image residing in his thoughts.

Her beauty permanently etched into his memory. Her silken voice resounded in his ears.

He felt hypnotized by her once again. He was past the anger, he was past the sadness. All he wanted was to be on good terms with Rachel once more. He wanted to make sure he hadn't hurt her; he worried when she seemed so troubled.

But there was a grace in her posture. For brief moments she revealed her unwavering delight. Ross was elated to see tears of happiness in their eyes. He really was happy about their child as well. He knew this baby had come out of wedlock, he knew a difficult ride was still to come; they would have to tell their parents, families, and friends. Nonetheless, he still looked forward to being a father again.

Ross opened his eyes only to sigh at the unmarked papers that sat in a pile on the wooden desktop.

He grabbed his agenda, which was situated to his right. Opening it, he examined the events listed under that day's date. His next lecture was in a few minutes, but that's not what sent him into a panic.

Written in his own handwriting was: _Dinner with Mona – 6:30pm_

He had completely forgotten this date with Mona.

Ross calmed down, as much as he could, in order to begin thinking rationally. He decided he would forget about his personal life for now and focus on his lecture. Then when he saw Mona tonight, he would make a decision.

When he saw Mona he would either choose dating her or trying to win Rachel back.

…..

Ross' lecture was coming to a close, after running smoothly. He stood at the podium in front of his students, pages of notes placed in front of him. All eyes were on him; all except the uninterested few.

The bell rang with an echoing chime, interrupting Ross mid-sentence. It unleashed the chaos of students standing from their seats, chatting with friends, gathering their books.

"See you tomorrow," Ross announced over the buzz of the students, trying to be heard in the sea of voices.

As soon as the pupils began exiting he collected all his teaching supplies, filing them into his briefcase. He shut the lid, snapping the latches shut, and then pulled it off the table to carry it from the room. When he looked at emptying room he noticed a familiar face in the crowd.

"I thought I'd meet you here. I have something planned instead of going out tonight," Mona stated, as she made her way through the pack of departing students.

"That's great. I just need to grab a few things from my office then we can go," Ross said, remembering the papers on his desk he still had left to grade.

"Okay," Mona answered. She advanced to take Ross' hand in hers. "Lead the way."

Ross didn't say a word as he led Mona out of the lecture hall and into the hallway. They walked hand in hand, side by side, without as much as a gaze between them.

"Just give me a minute," Ross declared when they were outside his office door; the frosted glass now dark without him in the room.

He didn't give her a chance to answer, before pulling his key from his pant pocket and turning it swiftly in the lock. He closed the door behind him, switching on the light to have the blue room welcome him.

He didn't waste time, opening the briefcase on his desk and piling the papers into its compartment.

Ross closed the case, before an item on his desk caught his eye. It was none other than the ultrasound photo, sitting where he'd left it. He didn't let his mind wander to the picture; he quickly tucked it into his pocket.

It was a record setting pace by the time he shut off his lights and locked the door again.

"Now we're ready to go?" Mona asked, leaning against the wall opposite Ross' door.

"Yes. Sorry," Ross apologised.

"Alright, now for your surprise," Mona declared, she took Ross' hand and excitedly led him from the building.

…..

Mona had led Ross up the staircase, insisting he keep his eyes closed. They soon arrived at a door - the only way Ross knew was from the sound of keys in the lock.

"Open your eyes," Mona exclaimed, when she had led Ross through a doorway. Ross followed her orders, opening his eyes to the room in front of him.

She had brought him home to his apartment, they stood in his living room. She had set a very romantic mood, the lights were low, there were candles all over. The air was filled with the scent of burning candle wick and flavourful food.

"How did you-?" Ross had asked, but Mona cut him off mid question.

"I borrowed the key from Monica. I made us some dinner and brought over some wine," Mona spoke, as Ross stood baffled.

In the current moment, they sat on his leather sofa, eating the dinner Mona had cooked.

Mona was continued to ramble about work? Ross wasn't fully listening. He only nodded along; offering a short reaction here and there, but his mind was elsewhere. He didn't feel inclined to pay attention, not when his mind furiously buzzed with thoughts.

Here he was on another date with Mona, a wonderful date she had put her heart into, and his mind was still on Rachel.

This should have given him chills; he should have melted amid Mona's sweet gesture. What happened to the sense of confidence he got from Mona, the sense that he could be happy without Rachel? He gazed at her long and hard, feeling different.

Ross had an epiphany. In a split second, it was clear which side had won his internal tug-of-war.

What was he doing dating Mona?

He'd been in love with Rachel since they were young, he'd been best friends with her, lovers with her, now he was going to have a baby with her. How could he just throw that relationship away for some girl he met at his sister's wedding?

He had made a huge mistake and he continued to make another huge mistake the longer he sat here in Mona's presence.

Rachel had been in the back of his mind, looming over his thoughts, since the moment they met.

He cared about her, why did it take him so long to see that, _again_? He had chased after her as she left the wedding; he had tried to help when she was sick at the coffeehouse, and that was just the tip of the iceberg.

Life is full of risks. Ross had hidden from taking a risk for so long - he had played it safe with Mona, since they didn't have a complicated history together. But, how could be happy with anyone other than Rachel?

Their history was full of issues that they could fix; it could fuel them to fight to be together.

Previously, he was afraid getting back together would lead them to break up again, but how could he assume that would be the outcome without even trying?

They had both made mistakes, but couldn't they learn from them? They had both been through a difficult time, but they had grown.

He put his hand is his pocket, only to feel the edge of the photo against his fingers. It brought his child to the forefront of his memory. That was the biggest reason to fight to be with Rachel: their child.

Ross' heart filled with warmth when he thought about the result. They didn't have to be friends with a kid, they could be a family. They could be the family he'd always dreamed of having.

Going days without Ben was a nightmare; this was his chance to have a different relationship with this child. He could be there to experience every moment of this child's life; he could be there by Rachel's side. He could finally be the father he only dreamed of being.

His decision was made: he wanted to be with Rachel.

Ross' reverie was terminated when he finally tuned into what Mona was saying.

"So about yesterday morning, is everything okay?" Mona asked, as Ross began to cut into his piece of chicken.

"Um, yeah I'm fine," Ross lied.

"Really? It's just that, you haven't been the same since then," Mona explained, "I mean when I greeted you after your lecture, and tonight when I did all this for you... I just don't know what's going on."

"I can't do this anymore," Ross stated, in a whisper.

"What?" Mona asked, hoping she had heard him wrong.

"I just can't do this anymore. This isn't right," Ross admitted. Mona put down her cutlery.

"Ross, what are you talking about?" Mona questioned, getting irritated with being kept in suspense.

"We need to break up," Ross said bluntly.

"But, it's only been a few weeks. I thought things were going well. I thought we were happy together," Mona expressed, completely confused.

"Don't get me wrong, I was happy, really I was. It's just… my thoughts and outlook have changed, the circumstances have changed," Ross tried to explain.

"I don't understand, Ross," Mona said, becoming extremely infuriated. "What made you change? Please just tell me what's going on," She was now on the verge of tears.

"I need to return to Rachel," Ross confessed. Watching as Mona stared at him intently.

"I knew there was something going on between you two," Mona whispered, continuing the anger. "I couldn't stop feeling threatened by her."

Ross kept his mouth shut; he didn't know what to say. Honestly, it felt good to have her mad at him, he felt like he deserved it. He felt guilty - having brought her into the complicated mix that accompanied him and Rachel.

"So, that's why you've been acting strange," Mona concluded, calming ever so slightly.

"I'm very sorry you had to get caught in the middle of this," Ross apologised. His guilt had completely eradicated his appetite.

"In the middle of what, Ross? What made you change your mind so suddenly?" Mona emitted in a train of questions.

Ross' hand drifted to his pocket, Mona's words made him act on his current thoughts. It was the final piece to having everything out in the open. Ross pulled the photo from his pocket, as Mona watched his every move with great interest.

Ross held the photo out to her, nervously focusing on her eyes. He urged her to take it without speaking a word.

Mona carefully took the item from Ross. She gave the photo a perplexed stare, squinting to figure out what it was in the dim light. Slowly a look of realization settled on her face. She brought a hand to her mouth in complete shock.

"Is this… an ultrasound?" Mona asked. Ross caught Mona's glance up at him; the truth was clearly inscribed in his gaze.

"Yes. Mona, Rachel's pregnant… with my child. I have to be there for her," Ross explained. He knew it was the only way he could get Mona to understand why he was suddenly ending their relationship.

Mona wore a blank expression; Ross couldn't tell what she was thinking. She still had tears in her eyes, as she tried to blink them away.

"I can't say I'm not angry or hurt, but if this is really true, I'll go," Mona explained, without as much as a waiver in her steady voice.

"I didn't expect you to take this so well," Ross confessed, as Mona handed the ultrasound picture back to him.

"I don't want to be the reason a family can't be together. Or a history like the one between you and Rachel can't work out. At least you told me the truth," Mona clarified.

"Thanks for understanding," Ross said, feeling their time together coming to a close.

"I'm going to go," Mona stated, feeling awkward in Ross' presence. She placed her plate on the coffee table as she stood from the sofa.

"Again, I'm sorry you had to go through this," Ross apologised, following her as she walked to the door.

"Good luck with the baby, congratulations," Mona stated genuinely, as her final words.

"Bye," Ross responded softly, opening the door for her to leave. Both Mona and Ross startled when the door opened.

Standing outside Ross' door was Rachel.


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: I tried to update as fast as possible. I really appreciate anyone who is still reading this story. As a treat, this chapter is longer than usual. **

**The next update will be the last. It'll be an epilogue to wrap up this story. **

**Please enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: The characters from Friends do not belong to me.**

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The colour drained from Rachel's face, as she paused in shock. She was about to knock on Ross' door, her hand was in a fist, when it suddenly opened.

Rachel had gotten home from work, after a long day of constant restlessness. All throughout her day, she wanted to be back with Ross, in his office instead of her own. She didn't want to go a day more with their problems up in the air.

She didn't know if he was home from work yet, but that didn't stop her from making the trek across the street.

She needed to see him again, and she hoped Ross felt the same way, wanting to see her.

Mona and Ross stood in the doorway, causing her heart to sink with defeat. Mona was there, crushing her plans, once again. How could she have been so naïve, thinking she'd get another chance to be alone with Ross?

"I was just leaving," Mona assured, immediately seeing the disappointment in Rachel's expression. She said this as she crossed the threshold. "Congratulations on the baby, by the way," Mona commented sincerely, before smiling at the couple and continuing down the hall.

Rachel stared at Ross, her baffled gaze telling him exactly what she was thinking.

"What was all that about? She knows about the baby?" Rachel asked. She couldn't make sense of the scene that had just transpired before her very eyes.

"Rachel, I broke up with Mona tonight… and I told her about the baby," Ross admitted, as they continued to stand in his doorway.

"Ross, what's going on?" Rachel asked, strictly.

"Come in and we'll talk," Ross countered, finding confidence build due to his previous thoughts. His heart was set on being with Rachel, was it fate she turned up on his doorstep just as Mona left?

Rachel nodded in agreement. She stepped far enough into Ross' apartment so he could close the door behind her. It was her turn to be speechless only, unlike the last instance, Ross had the time to wait for her to speak.

"Why? I mean, what made you break up?" Rachel asked, curiously.

"You, Rach," Ross answered. He exhaled a shaky breath. Nerves and anticipation worked their way into his core.

"I'm sorry I made you lose another girlfriend," Rachel apologised, thinking Ross was upset with her. She remembered back to the other girlfriends he'd left because of her: Julie, Bonnie, Emily could be argued.

Rachel turned her gaze downward, waiting for Ross' response.

"It's okay, because the only one I've ever really wanted is right in front of me," Ross answered, causing Rachel to gradually look up at him.

He didn't realise how truthful his statement was until the words seemed to feel right, rolling off his tongue. He may not have always known he wanted Rachel, but why else would his feelings for her always return?

Rachel melted in the sentiment of his kind-hearted statement. She could see her vision become blurry, as her eyes brimmed with tears.

She couldn't stop herself from kissing him with all the passion within her. She inhaled, reaching up to hold his face in her palms. She drew his lips to hers, with great urgency. Ross didn't hesitate, willingly responding by encircling her in his arms.

It was a moment they had both waited for. As their lips met, they knew this was where they were supposed to be: together. They knew who they were supposed to be: Ross and Rachel.

When they parted, he continued to hold her close. He didn't want to let her go ever again. Ross tenderly kissed her forehead, then hugged her tighter.

"Rach, the way I acted - it was stupid, and I'm truly sorry," Ross announced, knowing there were a few things they needed to address. Rachel angled her head to look up at him.

"Why don't we sit?" she suggested, knowing this was going to turn into a weighty discussion. Ross nodded in approval, following her lead across the living room. When they sat on the couch, Ross kept Rachel so close to him she was practically on his lap.

"I'm sorry for blowing this whole thing out of proportion, for hurting your feelings, I was acting so hostile," Ross continued to apologise.

"How were you so angry?" Rachel asked, hoping he wouldn't take offense.

"I don't know what came over me. I was a jerk to say those things to you. I don't know how I could have ever thought you didn't care about our relationship. I don't know why I brought up problems that were so far in the past. I was out of control and so… harsh. I hope you'll forgive me," Ross explained.

"Of course I'll forgive you Ross. We both made some mistakes in the past. I mean, I made a huge mistake causing that accident…" Rachel said, pausing when she brought up the sensitive point. Luckily, Ross took the chance to finish the thought.

"I just want to put the accident behind us. I reacted wrong," Ross told her.

"How else could you have reacted? You were angry," Rachel mentioned.

"I know it will sound strange, but I was mostly trying to cover my heartache and sadness with anger. I thought it was the easiest way to deal with it. In the beginning, all I could remember was holding you in my arms right after we crashed. I thought I would never see your eyes open again. I thought I lost you, one of the most important people in my life," Ross explained, before his throat constricted with tears.

"I thought I lost _you_, Ross," Rachel stated, boldly. "I thought I wrecked our friendship, and any chances of getting together."

"I felt that way as well," Ross admitted. The pair almost laughed at how similar they felt, neither of them knew the other had been feeling that way.

"I honestly couldn't live without you, Ross," Rachel stated, bringing a serious note to their conversation once more. "I feel like you're slipping away from me."

"That won't happen. I'm here," Ross stated. Rachel held Ross' hand, wrapping her small fingers around his large palm. Her sweet gesture caused Ross to look at her, the dim light casting shadows across her face. He decided it was his turn to make a move, to assure her he was telling the truth.

Ross leaned across the short space between them, sweetly kissing her. This time it was less frantic, but the passion was still there.

He moved unhurriedly, making it seem as if time passed in slow motion. He savoured the moment, enjoying her scent, her taste; enjoying her soft lips against his own.

When they parted, Rachel snuggled against his side. In turn, Ross snaked his arm around her back. He took the opportunity to kiss Rachel's hair before resting his cheek against her head. He smiled at the familiar scent of coconut in her golden hair.

"What happens now?" Ross whispered, gently ending the comfortable silence that had filled the room.

"If we're both sorry, and we both forgive each other, and have no questions, then I guess we start fresh?" Rachel suggested.

"I do have a question," Ross revealed, lifting his head so Rachel could turn and look at him.

"I'll make you a deal: if you ask me a question, I get to ask one in return," Rachel said. Ross smiled at her idea.

"Deal," he replied, with a laugh.

"Ask away," Rachel urged, warmly placing a hand on his knee.

"Okay… Why did you wait to tell me about the baby?" Ross asked, timidly.

"Truthfully, I didn't want you to feel obligated to start a relationship that you didn't want. I figured you would have wanted to get together because of the baby. And after our talk I got the feeling you didn't want to be together. So I waited until things calmed down," Rachel explained.

"I'm sorry I put you through that. It must have been hard," Ross realized. He placed his hand over hers.

"It's okay Ross. Everything worked out," Rachel assured him, turning her hand over to lace her fingers through his.

"You ask me a question now," Ross said, wanting to hear what Rachel had to say.

"First, did Mona do all this for you?" Rachel inquired, gesturing to the room. Seeing the candles and two glasses of wine on the coffee table reminded her to ask this question.

"Yes, she surprised me with it," Ross explained. "That's your question?" He asked, giving her a look of mock disbelief.

"I guess it's part of it," Rachel stated, then she became serious. "I actually wanted to know why you started dating Mona," she said, speaking carefully.

"I was dating her to try to get over you," Ross confessed, timidly. Rachel reacted by fixing her eyes on the floor, causing a piece of hair to fall in her face. Ross let go of her hand to carefully take the blonde strand in his fingers. He then tucked it behind her ear.

"What made you want to get over me?" Rachel asked, softly, as she looked at him. Even though she realized he had changed his mind about moving on, it still hurt her to imagine him with someone else.

"I thought if we ever got back together, we would end up hurting each other again," Ross disclosed.

"I see," Rachel said - it was the only response she could think of.

"But, Rach, I was being silly. I was arguing that if we were together we would hurt each other, when we hadn't even given it a try. And if you really think about it, staying apart was hurting us the most, it was hurting everyone the most," Ross clarified. Rachel loved how Ross did that, how he could uplift her with his words.

"Whose turn is it to ask a question?" Rachel asked, as Ross returned to holding her hand.

"I think it's my turn," Ross said. "But I have a feeling I already know the answer."

"Ask anyway," Rachel said, flirtatiously.

"Are you still in love with me?" Ross asked, sweetly. Rachel smiled, without pausing to think about her answer, it was an impulse.

"Yes," She responded. "My turn again... My question is the same. Are you still in love with me?" Rachel asked. Even though the answer was evident, it still made her heart pound with anticipation.

"No matter what happens to us, my feelings never seem to leave. They may have been hidden from time to time, but they never go away completely," Ross explained.

"It seems like that's what we do, hide our feelings. I've been waiting for you to come around," Rachel said, enthusiastically. Ross imagined how it would have made her feel to see him with Mona.

"Why didn't you just move on as well?" Ross asked. Rachel's excitement immediately faded, she shifted on the leather sofa cushion to give Ross a serious look.

"Well, I couldn't get your words out of my head when you argued you'd been in love with me since we were teenagers-," Rachel began, but Ross was quick to interrupt.

"Rachel, you shouldn't have listened to anything I said that night. It must have been the painkillers or-," Ross justified, speaking fast, but this time Rachel took a turn to interrupt.

"Ross, I'm not angry about it. I didn't move on because this time it was my turn to be patient and wait for you to notice _me_. In the past you waited for me, it was my turn to wait for you… you were worth the wait," Rachel explained. She finished by flashing Ross a meaningful smile, knowing those were the words she had said under the stars at the planetarium.

"That's it, right there. The start of a new chapter in our lives," Ross stated, as both were practically moved to tears by her words. They could feel it - that all was forgiven, that they could start fresh.

"Yeah, a new chapter called parenthood," Rachel said, she smiled at the thought. She and Ross would be parents in a few months.

"We're going to be a family, aren't we?" Ross asked, but it was a rhetorical question at this point.

"Yes. You, me and our baby," Rachel stated, her smile didn't fade.

"Are you afraid to tell everyone you're pregnant?" Ross asked.

"Our parents, yes, but our friends kind of already know," Rachel replied, cringing for his reaction.

"They know? How did they take it?" Ross questioned. Rachel was astonished that he didn't care he wasn't the first to know. She supposed they were really growing up.

"They were all very supportive. I hope they're excited," Rachel answered.

"I know they'll be excited. They'll be even more excited that we're back together," Ross said. "We are back together aren't we?" Ross asked, jokingly.

"Let me think about it," Rachel retorted, pretending to think deeply. Ross chuckled, he was very happy things were back to normal. In fact, it was all better than normal.

"I love you, Rach," Ross stated, all joking aside. It was clear how much he meant it.

"I love you too," Rachel responded. A warm feeling spread through the living room.

A tranquil silence fell between them. Rachel returned to snuggling against Ross, and Ross returned to resting his cheek against her hair.

They couldn't have asked for a better time together. All the complications were put behind them, all the mistakes didn't matter. All that mattered was the two of them being together. Together, they were ready to concentrate on what was really important: their baby.

Ross sighed when he realized he needed to get up. He had put off cleaning his living room long enough.

"I'm going to clean this mess up," Ross whispered to Rachel.

"Okay," Rachel replied. Ross stood from the sofa. He bent down to kiss her forehead, before clearing off his coffee table.

Rachel watched Ross for a while, until the window caught her attention.

She looked over at Monica and Chandler's apartment. She tried to spot them, before remembering they were on their honeymoon still. So, she shifted her gaze to Joey and her place. The windows were dark, which Rachel assumed was because Joey was either sleeping or entertaining one of his lady friends.

When Ross was done he slouched back onto the sofa. Rachel focused on him, turning away from the window. As she smiled at him, a yawn escaped her lips.

"Maybe I should get going," Rachel suggested. "It's getting late."

"Okay," Ross responded, he said it disappointedly.

They pair got up and strode to the door. An idea popped into Ross' head just as Rachel twisted the doorknob.

"Or you could stay here tonight," Ross proposed, timidly. Rachel turned to face him, closing the door.

"Are you sure?" Rachel asked.

"Of course. You can borrow one of my t-shirts to sleep in, I could spend the night on the couch if you want my bed," Ross planned aloud.

"It sure beats walking back across the street alone. However, I'm not going to kick you out of your bed, you can sleep beside me. But no funny business," Rachel stated firmly.

"I won't use my 'hug and roll' move, I promise," Ross assured, they both broke into uncontainable laughter.

…..

The two were settled under the covers. The lights were off, only the moonlight lit the bedroom. As it shone through the blinds it cast slats of light across the floor.

Ross lay on his back with his arm around Rachel. She lay with her head on his chest, as close to him as possible.

Ross stroked Rachel's soft hair for a while, lost in pleasant thoughts. When he stopped, Rachel could have sworn it was because he had drifted off to sleep. She could feel his chest rise and fall with long, calm breaths.

"Can I ask you one last question?" Ross asked, in a whisper.

"Sure," Rachel murmured, her head still nestled against his chest.

"It's going to sound a little hasty," Ross warned.

"I don't mind," Rachel stated, trying to end the suspense he kept her in.

"I was wondering if you'd like to move in with me," Ross suggested, before he explained his thought process. "I just don't want to miss anything to do with this baby. I can be here for you. We can live together and be a family."

Ross got nervous when Rachel pulled away. She looked at him with a neutral expression, on her hands and knees. Soon, she crawled up only to lean over him to place a lingering kiss on his lips.

"Is that a yes?" Ross questioned when they parted.

"That's a yes," Rachel clarified, unable to stop the smile that lit up her face, identical to Ross'.

She lay back down, and Ross hugged her close, once again.

"It took us a while, overcoming obstacles, putting mistakes and the past behind us. But, I think we're meant to be together," Ross concluded. Rachel found his words soothing, as she closed her eyes.

"I love you," She whispered, it felt good to finally say it freely.

"I love you more," Ross answered in a low voice.

They slept like that the entire night, in each other's arms. It was the best sleep they'd had in a long time. There was not a worry to be found, not a problem that needed to be solved. Their future looked bright; this time everything would work out.


	15. Epilogue

**AN: I'm sorry I took so long to update, but I have a valid explanation.**

**My Grandfather lost his battle with cancer last weekend. Between writing the speech I said at his funeral and general mourning I haven't had the time, or the will, to write.**

_**- R.I.P. Grandpa – Time went by too fast. I'll miss you and I love you -**_

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**As this story comes to a close, I want to thank you all. Thank you for the reviews, thank you for reading, thank you for the continued support. **

**I do have another story and another one-shot planned. I'll post them as soon as I can, so keep an eye out. **

**Please enjoy this long epilogue.**

**Disclaimer: The characters from Friends do not belong to me.**

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"It seems like you're progressing well. Everything looks good," The doctor commented, "I'll be back later."

Doctor Young, her obstetrician, left the room. Ross and Rachel were alone once more.

It was an intermingling of excitement and nerves filling the air. The feeling was mutual, both couldn't contain their happiness. In just a short time they would welcome their baby into the world.

Rachel had gone into labor a few hours ago, the intensity and frequency of her contractions were increasing.

5cm dilated – halfway there

The fluorescent lights only added to the brightness of the stark white walls. The bed was uncomfortable as she sat up against the adjusted mattress. The lone person keeping her grounded was Ross, sitting in an armchair beside her bed.

He held her hand, he coached her through the contractions, he rubbed her back – Rachel was extremely thankful to have him by her side.

Ross watched her, admired her. He couldn't imagine the amount of strength Rachel had to have at this moment. Her strength had always been there, but now it shone more than ever. More than when she left her old life to move to the city, more than making a career for herself, more than enduring their low points, the list went on.

Just a few months ago Rachel worried she'd be doing this alone, but Ross had committed to his promise. He was there, by her side, every step of the way.

_It could have been déjà vu, if it weren't for the fact that she wasn't alone. _

_They sat in the waiting room, the other couples nearby, waiting for her name to be called. Rachel had Ross beside her. She was now one of those couples she'd been surrounded by the last time; she had a hand to hold._

"_Rachel Green?" The receptionist summoned, both Ross and Rachel looked up at her. "The doctor will see you now," She stated, stepping out from behind the desk to lead them to the examination room._

_When Rachel had done this alone, nerves had weakened her, worry and anxiety flowed through her veins. At this appointment, all she could feel was excitement as Ross followed closely beside her. _

_She was eager to see their baby once again. This was the first ultrasound they'd been to together; she couldn't wait to see Ross' reaction._

_Ross was eager as well. Each passing second brought them closer to seeing the ultrasound. The butterflies were trembling in his stomach; he could barely contain the resulting anticipation. Ross was silent as Rachel changed into her gown and climbed atop the examination table. _

_He paced to stand by her head, waiting patiently for the doctor to join them. __ Soundlessly, he observed Rachel as she lay upon the table. He stepped closer to adjust the pillow behind her head, earning a meaningful smile on Rachel's part. The glimmer of happiness in her eyes calmed him._

_Their sweet moment was interrupted by Doctor Young, who promptly sat down on her rolling chair to get the appointment started._

_Rachel was ready when the cool ultrasound gel touched her skin. As the doctor moved the probe across her stomach she and Ross watched the screen._

_The silhouette of their baby came into view, and Ross gasped. Rachel twisted around to look at him as he saw their child for the first time. Of course, he had seen pictures, but nothing compared to seeing it on the screen._

_Rachel had tears in her eyes to begin with; however, watching Ross made them roll down her cheeks. The way he watched the screen intently, tears filling his own eyes, gave Rachel a warm sensation. _

_This was what she wished had happened at the first ultrasound. She wished they could have shared the experience of seeing their baby together for the first time. Although it didn't go the way she wanted, she was overwhelmingly happy to see Ross now. _

_He was by her side, there with her every step of the way from that point on._

"Knock, knock," Came a familiar voice from the door. It was none other than Jack Geller at the hospital room entrance. Ross and Rachel glanced over to see a crowd of visitors had arrived. This group consisted of both Ross' parents and Rachel's parents.

"Come in," Ross greeted. He stood from his chair to meet the company in the doorway.

"There's my little girl," Sandra Green remarked, rushing over to Rachel's bedside.

"We thought we'd stop in and see how you kids were doing," Mr. Geller said. The Gellers both gave Ross a hug, before joining Mrs. Green in talking to Rachel.

"You treating my daughter well, Geller?" Leonard Green asked, bitterly directing his words at Ross when they had an awkward moment alone.

"Of course, sir," Ross answered nervously.

"You better be, especially after our little chat," Doctor Green uttered. Ross stood frozen in place while Doctor Green left him to go see Rachel. Some things would never change.

Rachel worried about her parents being in the close quarters together, let alone even being in the same hospital. But, they seemed to be focusing on her, not so much as acknowledging one another.

All the parents seemed supportive, which was a main concern of both Ross and Rachel. They had informed them with the news within weeks of getting back together. They hoped the fact that they were a couple and planning to live together would be enough to make their parents somewhat happy about this baby.

Ross and Rachel had made a trip out to the Geller's residence on Long Island to tell them about the baby. When they revealed the reason for the visit, Ross' parents were shocked at first. But they quickly settled into a state of pure delight.

Rachel had always loved the Gellers, but now she loved them even more. She felt like she was welcomed into their family with open arms.

On the other hand, telling Rachel's parents was a whole different story. They had to visit two separate houses, with them being divorced and all.

Rachel's mother had reacted much like the Gellers, except she wondered who their nanny would be and why they didn't want to hire one.

Paying a visit to Leonard Green, next, was one of the scariest days of Ross' life.

The moment Rachel told him their news he got a look in his eye as if he were going to leap across the table and strangle Ross. He erupted with anger. He began riffling off questions: why they wouldn't get married, why they hadn't been responsible.

He finally calmed down enough to let Rachel explain. She told him they were a couple and they had plans to move in together very soon.

Then, that day became a big step for Ross. Next, he took Doctor Green aside, while Rachel used the restroom.

_Ross sat in the grand dining room, complete with chandelier and polished mahogany table. The tension in the air made him sweat uncontrollably. It was just him and Rachel's father. _

_He knew this was his only chance._

"_Doctor Green, can I speak to you for a moment?" Ross asked politely. Leonard Green sighed, giving Ross a severe look. _

"_Haven't you done enough?" Doctor Green asked, irritably. When Ross didn't speak he continued. "Fine. I'm listening, Geller."_

"_Sir, I just want you to know that… Rachel means the world to me," Ross began, his voice steady despite his nerves._

"_If she means so much to you, why did you hurt her? And now you've knocked her up and refused to marry her?" Doctor Green questioned, communicating harshly._

"_That's what I wanted to talk to you about. Rachel has forgiven me for my past mistakes. I'd like your forgiveness as well," Ross said, calmly._

"_Why would I forgive you?" _

"_Because, I love your daughter, with all my heart."_

"_That's great Geller, but-," Doctor Green began, but this time Ross chose to fight for Rachel._

"_Look, we both know you'd be happier if we had done these steps in the right order and gotten married before having a baby. But that can't happen anymore," Ross explained sternly, facing his fears of speaking to Rachel's dad._

"_What's your point?" Doctor Green asked, clasping his hands on the table._

"_My point is that, I made a mistake but I'd like to fix it. I'd like to ask you for your daughter's hand. I want to marry her," Ross declared. On the outside he seemed confident, even if he was cringing on the inside, waiting for a response. Doctor Green leaned back in his chair, staring at Ross the entire time he pondered this proposition._

"_I knew this would happen the moment Rachel told me this news… You want to marry her do you?" Doctor Green confirmed, steadily._

"_I promise I will treat her well. It's different this time around," Ross persuaded. _

"_What can I say Geller? I know she loves you. So I guess I won't be able to stand in the way of you two kids," Doctor Green responded, keeping his voice low._

"_Thank you, sir," Ross answered. He was immediately in disbelief that Leonard Green had agreed to let him marry Rachel. _

_Even when Rachel entered the room once more, the shock didn't wear off._

Their parents left shortly, after visiting with Ross and Rachel a short while.

Ross was able to relax into his chair as their visitors departed. Rachel's father kept him on edge, stressing him out with his criticism.

Ross knew he meant well; Doctor Green was just protective of his daughter. It was a point of view Ross wouldn't be able to understand completely, until he had a daughter of his own. Soon he would know the feeling; soon he would have a daughter to protect.

Rachel rested, her hands folded protectively upon her belly. She glanced down at her fingers and a glint of light caught her eye.

The facets of her diamond ring sparkled in the light.

"Everything okay Rach?" Ross asked, leaning his elbows on the mattress as he sat. He wondered why she was so happy all of a sudden.

"I was just thinking of how my father is still so rude to you; even after you got his approval for us to get married," Rachel explained.

"I know he'll always be hard on me. You're his little girl, he wants the best for you," Ross concluded, causing Rachel to look at him strangely.

"He does like you, you know - in his own way," Rachel mentioned.

"I know," Ross said, taking her hand in his. He stared at the ring on her finger, the diamond ring that once belonged to his grandmother.

Ross had proposed to her months ago. It happened to night she moved in to his apartment.

_One more box unpacked, one more closer to Rachel being completely moved in._

_Ross' apartment was filled with her belongings. They had been unpacking all day, with their friends' help. Monica had given each member of the gang a job, still it grew too late for them to finish the job. Everyone needed to get home._

_Ross and Rachel continued to unpack unaccompanied._

"_I cleared a few of my things out of the bedroom to give you a bit of space," Ross stated. He entered the living room, carrying a box of his own. Rachel stood up to look at him; she rested against the arm of the sofa for a moment._

"_Thanks," Rachel mumbled, becoming distracted._

"_Should we, uh, just finish this tomorrow?" Ross asked, sensing that Rachel was tired._

"_No, we're almost done. Sorry, I was just… thinking," Rachel declared, crossing her arms uneasily._

"_Do you want to talk?" Ross asked softly. He placed the box on a nearby table in order to step closer to Rachel._

"_I was thinking about…" Rachel paused to take a breath, "… how my father reacted."_

"_Hm, I see," Ross responded, not quite knowing what to say._

"_It's hard for him to accept that we did things out of order," Rachel explained, although Ross had realized this for himself._

_Ross hadn't told Rachel about his conversation with her father. He wanted to surprise her because, he had done it, he had gotten Doctor Green's approval._

"_You know, that doesn't have to be an issue," Ross expressed, he moved to stand only a short distance away from her. Rachel wore a confused expression._

"_What do you mean?" She asked._

"_We don't have to do everything completely out of order anymore," Ross explained. But Rachel was still puzzled, she wondered if the late hour was affecting his thought process._

"_How, exactly?" Rachel questioned._

"_Why don't you take a look in that box I brought from my bedroom. Something in there may explain what I'm thinking," Ross declared._

_Rachel strode past him to where he had placed his box. She opened the cardboard flaps, one by one. Inside was nothing spectacular: a few dinosaur knick-knacks, a few books. But, suddenly, something caught her eye._

_It was a small box with her name written across it. She recognized the writing to be Ross'. Rachel lifted this small box out, turning around to show Ross what she'd found._

"_Open it," Ross instructed. His heart pounded hard as Rachel found what he had hidden amongst his belongings._

_Rachel followed his directions, taking the lid off the box in her hands. Within it was white tissue paper and yet another box. However, this one was different, it was white and very small – it could fit in her hand._

_She opened this tiny box and almost dropped it in shock. Tears flooded her eyes as she finally made sense of Ross' words. _

_It was a diamond engagement ring._

_Rachel quickly looked up, to find Ross sinking to one knee in front of her. _

"_Rachel, we've been through a lot of ups and downs, together and apart. We've forgiven each other for our mistakes. We've realized that we can't live without each other._

"_I will spend every day knowing I don't belong with anyone other than you. Rachel I love you, I can't wait to have a family with you, and I want to spend every day of our lives together. I got your father's approval so he could try to forgive me too, so he could see that we're not doing this _completely_ out of order. But most of all, I got his approval to ask you this very question:_

"_Rachel, will you marry me?" Ross said, as tears rolled down both their cheeks._

"_Yes, of course I will," Rachel answered._

_Ross stood to hug her tight, before sliding the ring onto her finger._

It wasn't long before the company of Ross and Rachel's parents was replaced by the company of their four friends.

It was just the six of them; however, the room was bursting with conversation. They were a welcome distraction from the pain Rachel was in.

The group couldn't help but feel the love and friendship in the room. It cast a cheerful shadow over the six. The past didn't matter anymore. It was hard to believe that, a few months ago, it seemed like they'd never be together again as a group of friends.

Their wish to have everything back to normal was taken a step further: everything was better than before.

Ross and Rachel could hardly wait to bring a new little member into their group.

Monica sat on the edge of Rachel's bed, stroking her sweat-soaked hair. She jokingly rolled her eyes as Phoebe rambled on, explaining that Ross and Rachel should name the baby _Phoebe_. The men chatted with Ross at the foot of the bed.

However, Rachel's relaxed expression changed, her face cringing in pain. Luckily, the doctor walked in, as Ross rushed to Rachel's side.

"In a bit of discomfort, are we?" Doctor Young asked kindly, her soft brown eyes showing her compassion. She pulled on a pair of rubber gloves, before turning to the crowd in the room. "I'm going to do one final check, but I think she's ready to have this baby. So only the father in the room, please."

The four friends chorused in goodbyes and good lucks as they exited. The doctor checked Rachel, before standing up and looking at the couple.

"10 cm. Time to have this baby," Doctor Young declared.

…..

The sun set; a golden glow radiated throughout the small room.

Rachel could barely keep her eyes open after the day they'd had. The baby was born, their friends and family had visited a short while ago. Ross and Rachel spent some time alone after everyone left.

Ross had snuggled next to Rachel in the hospital bed, his arm wrapped around her as she held their little girl in her arms.

Emma was swaddled in a blanket, only her face was exposed; her dark brown hair and brown eyes like Ross, but features like Rachel's. Ross and Rachel marveled at her size, it was hard to believe someone could be so small.

Rachel could sense Ross' gaze on her; she carefully turned to find that was true.

"What?" Rachel whispered, with a gentle laugh.

"She's just as beautiful as you," Ross disclosed, gently stroking the soft hair on Emma's head.

"She's perfect," Rachel stated, ignoring Ross' comment that had made her blush. "This couldn't be a more amazing time. We're engaged and now we have Emma. Everything's falling into place," Rachel whispered.

"I love you," Ross whispered, kissing the side of Rachel's head.

"I love you too," Rachel responded.

Their future was indeed bright as they started their new chapter of parenthood. In this chapter they were stronger than ever before. In this chapter they were finally together forever.

…..

_Be thankful for the difficult times. During those times you grow._

_Be thankful for your mistakes. They will teach you valuable lessons._

_A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are also thankful for the setbacks._

_Find a way to be thankful for your troubles, and they can become your blessings._

_-Anonymous_

* * *

**AN: Please leave me your final thoughts in a review. **


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